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Behaviour/development

How do I get my 3 year old to talk more ?

4 replies

whitebluegold · 04/09/2019 22:51

My DS just doesn't talk much, he can talk and has a wide variety of individual words and simple sentences. But he says very little on a day to day basis. He is just so quiet even at home.

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Worrywart21 · 05/09/2019 06:58

Talk to him loads and about everything. I got a book when DD was a baby called Baby Talk and it was all about improving your child’s communication. It advised to set aside 30 minutes every single day to “play” with your child. During this time you follow their lead and commentate on what they are doing but do not ask questions, just let them lead and you comment.

Also sing lots of songs, limit tv and iPads, and read to them. We go to the library book every week for new books so we have a variety.

You probably do lots of that anyway.

My daughter is 3 and is above her language development but girls tend to be more advanced in this area. My son was slow to speak and in the end needed speech therapy to help.

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SmartPlay · 05/09/2019 12:05

Some children simply talk less, that's not a problem in itself. If he is on an age appropriate level with his language and you don't feel that he's afraid to talk, then I wouldn't worry too much.
But of course you can still encourage him to talk. Apart from the things pp already said, I recommend those things:

  • Give him time to answer - children often need more time to process what is asked/said and to think about an answer and adults often tend to get impatient and answer for them
  • If he wants something, he should say it - even if you understand him when he isn't saying anything (like just pointing)
  • Sing together
  • Ask questions, but not in a testing way (like pointing on something in a book and asking what it is), rather involving his imagination - e.g. he sees a bug, plane etc. and you ask things like "Where do you think it might go?" and then go from there
  • Take walks together somewhere where it's quiet (i.e. not right next to a busy street) and let your son explore anything he likes and chat about it. Or just use the time to chat about anything that comes to your mind - like an upcoming visit to the grandparents - and involve him by asking questions.
  • Cuddle in a comfortable place and chat, just like during the walk.
  • No not correct him, when he said something wrong, just repeat it correctly - e.g. "My friend has 5 mouses at home!" - "Really? 5 mice? So many? What do his mice like to eat?"
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helper125 · 05/09/2019 20:24

It is normal for some children to not talk a lot at this age. He will still use and retain the vocabulary that he has already obtained and while he may not be speaking a great amount he at the same time is still gathering more vocabulary from any conversation and speech he hears around him. If you want to encourage him to talk you can do things such as:
-having general conversations however but emphasis on your words which will make the conversation fun for him
-be patient and give him time to formulate a response
-ask questions or answer any questions he has as he can learn new vocabulary this way

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whitebluegold · 05/09/2019 21:10

Brilliant advice thank you all. DS has been on the slower side of speech, but I think both myself and his Dad are quiet.

I went to a cafe the other day and a women was with her daughter similar age to DS. It was constant suggestions, questions to her daughter. I couldn't believe she even had the energy to talk that much to her child, but it didn't seem false or performance parenting. I do of course interact with DS and I love spending time with him, but the tips will help a lot.

I do think I sometimes repeat the questions in a different way when he doesn't answer immediately , so probably don't give him enough time to process. I particularly like the more imaginative questions idea. I have become a bit stuck, as he knows the basic words now, so ohhh what's that doesn't cut it.

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