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new born nearly three weeks old..doesn't like me?

(23 Posts)
bumbly Wed 08-Aug-07 10:24:43

...cute as can be but am sure he doesn't recognise me at all and doesn't even turn to my voice

had one week on our own with him but now grandfolk are around and that doesn't help

he only seems interested in bright lights

or am i expecting too much too soon

am sure he may bond with me at some point in the years to come - but so far he never turns to my voice

ps we know he can hear as he passed the hearing test with flying colours!

meandmy Wed 08-Aug-07 10:26:33

give it a cpl more weeks he loves you too bits really (being typical male)
remember lots cuddles/stories/singing/baths etc not just feeds and changing good luck

flowerybeanbag Wed 08-Aug-07 10:28:12

agree give it a couple of weeks, only 3 weeks is early.
Just you wait til he smiles at you, around 6 weeks, you'll wonder what you were worried about!

LIZS Wed 08-Aug-07 10:34:09

You are expecting too much too soon. Please try to enjoy him as he is now , it won't be long before he changes .

Pruners Wed 08-Aug-07 10:36:06

Message withdrawn

onlyWotz Wed 08-Aug-07 10:38:09

agree with others, still so new at only 3 weeks.
I wish you could put a picture up?

Olihan Wed 08-Aug-07 10:39:22

Definitely too much too soon. He's not really even able to focus well yet and his instinct is just to be close to someone, anyone who will meet his needs, which at this age is feed and cuddle. It does make it a bit unrewarding, especially if you've got a houseful of guests doing a lot of the cuddling.

Can you take some time, either at feed time or bedtime, to take him off, on your own and spend half an hour just cuddling and looking at him, talking to him and generally having a bit of mother and baby time.

In a few more weeks he'll be smiling and you'll be in no doubt at all who his favourite person in the whole wide world is, in the meantime, just get to know him, the wait is worth it .

bumbly Wed 08-Aug-07 17:29:26

really? you reckon it is all normal him not looking at me and not following my voice?

it was the midwife who said that from birth they follow you even though they can't see you/focus on you...we did a test..she held him...i walked around room...oh but no....LO one was just interested in window and always has been...didn't flinsh or move at my voice at all

he seems to like daddy..and i know he is confused re granparents


i do hope one day LO will only have eyes for me - but doesn't bode well at the moment

GibbonInARibbon Wed 08-Aug-07 17:33:59

3 weeks is still tiny....he is really just adjusting to this big new and bright world with all it sights, smells and sounds.

Babies at this age honestly don't do much and it's as they get older you get the interaction.

Enjoy this time, its precious and will pass so quickly. Looking at lights/contrast is normal at this age, my DD did exactly the same.

Congratulations btw

Desiderata Wed 08-Aug-07 17:34:55

Poor bumbly. I can remember feeling exactly like you when my ds was 3 to 4 weeks old. I can remember crying and acting like a spoiled little girl, passing ds over to dh 'because he evidently prefers you!

It isn't ds .. it's you and your darned hormones. And tbh, three weeks is a bit young to be consistently turning at the sound of anyone's voice, let alone yours.

Come on! It'll get better ... these are tough times, but you'll be rewarded a thousand-fold

bumbly Wed 08-Aug-07 17:50:40

so why do all the books say newborns recognise your voice??


motherinferior Wed 08-Aug-07 17:55:23

Oh darling, I remember this stage especially with my first - she was just a bundle of reflex actions, rooting and sucking and snorting and farting. I know it seems like your baby's been with you forever, because every moment goes so incredibly slowly, but really three weeks is no time at all. Really he will adore and dote and gaze and giggle and chuckle and clap, all those things, in a few months. That seems like faaaaaaaaaar away now, but it really isn't.

At six months they are adorable.

lailasmum Wed 08-Aug-07 17:55:34

because some probably do and then every one wants theirs to be the same. I don't remember my daughter looking at me that young but she really loved the lights in supermarket ceilings. There are all kinds of things you will be told they ALL do and they definitely do not ALL do them.

MaloryTowersHasManners Wed 08-Aug-07 17:56:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tutter Wed 08-Aug-07 17:58:33

agree with everyone else

my 3 week old doesn't focus on anything yet

enjoy these early days - marvel at him - they pass so quickly

LIZS Wed 08-Aug-07 18:02:34

but babies haven't read those books ! Please don't allow what you read to make you feel inadequate, time really is too short to be wasting energy on that. Tomorrow, next week, next month he will be different and you will have moved on to something else to fret about , part of this is natural and goes with parenthood but too much is unhelpful and could make you overanxious.

flightattendant Wed 08-Aug-07 18:02:37

Ds didn't either...I got the odd suspicious squint, even now at 8 weeks he smiles about twice a day and I'm sure it's just a face related exercise, not real recognition! Really, it's very well documented that babies take a good few months to bond with you...though you've bonded with them quicker!

That's why they don;t mind being passed around at this age, attachment just hasn't taken place fully. When it does he'll cry whenever you leave

Ignore your daft midwife, she was mistaken...they might follow your voice vaguely, or might not. Depends what they're thinking about...

MaloryTowersHasManners Wed 08-Aug-07 18:03:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

flightattendant Wed 08-Aug-07 18:03:54

ps Ds smiles at me but also at the ceiling

Theclosetpagan Wed 08-Aug-07 18:07:26

Hi bumbly - he knows you - he really does and there will be a preference for you above anyone else. Babies are geared to look at bright lights. If you hold him close facing you though I bet he would look at your face for short periods (of course he'll also want to look around to bright lights etc). Just wait until 6 weeks when you'll be experiencing that first half smile which will gradually turn into a total beamer which covers his face. I don't remember my DS being any different.

princessmel Wed 08-Aug-07 18:09:11

Deffo agree with Malory that he will recognise your voice even if he's not showing it.

Silly test the MW did anyway. What a good way of worrying mums.

bcsnowpea Wed 08-Aug-07 18:13:34

Books that say that your little tiny baby recognises your voice are basing these claims on experiments that measure unseen aspects of reaction - increased heartbeat; neurological activity; sucking reflex. He knows who you are, he's heard you everyday for his while gestation, he just hasn't reached the point where he knows how to show you that.

paulaplumpbottom Wed 08-Aug-07 18:14:36

Maybe Granny is helping out a bit too much? Try to get more alone time

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