Another child pushing my child over!

[MissB83]

I spend some time with a friend and her family who live nearby, my DS is 18 months and her daughter is about 9 months older.

The big picture is that they generally play really well together and seem to love hanging out: they chatter away and giggle and run around together. My friend's little girl is a sweet and intelligent girl, she does come up and give my DS big hugs (some of which he accepts more willingly than others!)

However the slight concern for me is that my friend's daughter is a bit of a pusher. We spent the weekend with them and she pushed my son over about 8 times, including into a hedge which scratched his face. Each time he gets upset for a few minutes but then is fine and goes back to playing with her of his own volition (I wouldn't force him). My friend does address it with a telling off, naughty step and apology so I'm not criticising her at all. I feel a bit sorry for her because she's very apologetic to me so I just keep saying, it doesn't matter, it's just her age (and comfort my son anyway). She usually pushes him when he tries to pick up a toy she wants or doesn't or what she tells him to do (whether it's his toys or hers!).

But please can I get some reassurance that my instincts are right, that this is a stage that will pass and shouldn't mean we stay away from this family? My friend is undergoing some serious problems at the minute which aren't her fault but I wonder if her daughter might be acting out a little bit because of it- so trying to be sympathetic.

[Lookingforadvice123]

Of course it's a phase, and no you shouldn't stay away from them! Your friend is doing exactly the right thing by addressing it, I don't think you could expect more. Your DS may well start doing similar (or worse) in a year or two, and how would you feel if your friends decided to stay away from you because of it?

[MissB83]

@Lookingforadvice123 yes that would be exactly my instincts as I said above. A couple of family members expressed doubt about this which has led me to doubt myself (I'm a FTM) so seeking some reassurance really.

[Lookingforadvice123]

Your instincts are right! My DS was always the "victim", so I know where you're coming from. However at 3 he definitely stands up for himself now and on occasion has pushed another child unprovoked, so I think we all go through both sides at some point.

[MissB83]

@Lookingforadvice123 phew thank you! Yes my son is super gentle. He slaps at me but never at other kids. And he always goes up and wants to play with them even if they are a bit rough with him. But he might come into his own and start pushing etc when he's older (in a way I kind of hope he doesn't as he's a 97th centile monster so it's easier that he isn't physical as well!!).

[SmartPlay]

Completely normal behaviour for that age! Don't worry and ignore your family.