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DH relationship with DD

(6 Posts)
BonnyE Sun 01-Sep-19 10:00:56

DD is 20 months and generally lovely, although wilful (aren't they all wink). Problem is, she has a very strong preference towards me rather than DH. Shes BF and I took 1 year mat leave so I did spend materially more time with her in the early days.
He finds the "rejection" very difficult. She's not exactly subtle! He's very hands on and has spent lots of time with her so it's not that they haven't had chance to bond. In fact i'd say they do have a good bond, but at times she's adamant it has to be mummy. Is it normal for this age? Any tips? It can feel a bit stressful for all of us at times.

OP’s posts: |
HennyPennyHorror Sun 01-Sep-19 10:46:18

Go out without them both more often. That's what I wish I'd done in retrospect. Once we'd had DD2, it got very old very quickly when DD1 wouldn't let DH read her a bedtime story.

I wish I'd buggered off more often so she HAD to form that bond.

BonnyE Sun 01-Sep-19 10:59:59

This is the kind of advice I like wink
They do have a day a week together while I'm at work as DH is self employed and lucky enough to do that. It seems to help but not enough....

OP’s posts: |
HennyPennyHorror Sun 01-Sep-19 13:45:54

How much free time does DH have? Are you looking after DD in the day whilst he's working? If so, I'd bugger off out as soon as he comes home.

Won't kill him. Just for a couple of hours.

BonnyE Mon 02-Sep-19 16:23:02

I work 4 fairly long days so not really an option sadly. He does his share which I think is why he finds it so hurtful if we're all together and she's so clearly in "mummy mode".

OP’s posts: |
HennyPennyHorror Mon 02-Sep-19 22:59:02

He needs to Google some articles about it. Babies do this...they switch too and suddenly prefer the other parent. It's not really your problem to solve OP.

I think one of the issues for women in general is thinking it's our responsibility to make men feel better. If your baby preferred him over you, you'd probably set about researching why that might be and what you could do about it. He can do that too.

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