Concerns about development

(16 Posts)
SamJTony Mon 19-Aug-19 15:07:57

Hi all

My son has just turned 11 months old. He is in many ways a happy and healthy little boy although he does have a moderate hearing loss. He is smiley, loves a laugh, sociable with other children and adults (even strangers), is always happy to see mummy and daddy, eats well, sleeps well, babbles, says Mamama and Dadada a lot and will say it back when we say it to him. He is crawling and cruising at every opportunity. But he is yet to clap, wave or point. It doesn’t seem to matter how much I try to teach him, he just either looks blankly at me, smiles and laughs at me or just crawls away to do something more exciting. Should I just accept he’ll do it when he does it or is this a red flag? All his peers seem to be doing it already but we are making no progress. Please help. Thank you

OP’s posts: |
aquarius1994 Mon 19-Aug-19 16:11:31


LaurenSarah22 Mon 19-Aug-19 16:20:21

I dont think those sort of things are classed as milestones, I wouldn't worry

SamJTony Mon 19-Aug-19 16:34:59

I think they are classed as non verbal communication milestones. Not doing so but a certain age can potentially be a sign of ASD

OP’s posts: |
ForeverBaffled Mon 19-Aug-19 18:18:19

Pointing isn’t delayed until 18 months and waving/clapping not expected until 12 months plus. My 20 month DS only started waving consistently 3 months ago and I am pretty sure he is NT smile Your lovely little guy sounds fine!

SmartPlay Mon 19-Aug-19 19:44:11

I am always surprised when reading threads like this, about what "all his peers" can do. Seems like MN-users only meet advanced children. I've read that exact same thing (pointing, waving and clapping) about a 9 months old and also there "all the other babies his age can do it". Quite impressive.

There is nothing wrong with a child that age not doing those things. I don't know when my son started pointing, because I didn't pay attention, but he started to wave and clap after he turned 1 year old. Not sure when exactly, maybe 13 months. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with his communication,

SamJTony Mon 19-Aug-19 20:07:57

Thanks for your replies. I hope you understand that I was just seeking some reassurance as an anxious first time mum with nothing but google and the ten or so other babies in our ‘social circle’ of whom all but my son and one other baby (who is a month younger) can clap and wave. It is just helpful to reach out on here to get a more realistic idea of whether or not my son is where he needs to be so thanks for answering my questions.

OP’s posts: |
Confusedandworried321 Mon 19-Aug-19 20:10:14

I could've written your post back in 2016 OP. My DS started clasping when he was 11 months (almost 12 months actually), waved at 12 (almost 13) months, and pointed pretty much dead on 13 months. His communication is very good now at 3 and a half. I do remember worrying though as it felt like all the other babies could do at least one of the three gestures when my DS wasn't doing any. But my experience shows how quickly they can do all of these things!

ForeverBaffled Mon 19-Aug-19 20:13:28

OP, I totally understand. I had huge anxiety about my little boy which I think has proved unfounded. I hope you’re okay. I had to cut ties with my NCT group in the end as the competition and scope for comparison made things ten times worse. No problem at all seeking reassurance here flowers

aquarius1994 Mon 19-Aug-19 20:25:30

@SmartPlay my son is 17 months and doesn't point yet but he's an only child and we aren't big pointers, in your opinion should I worry or not

SmartPlay Mon 19-Aug-19 20:48:31

"my son is 17 months and doesn't point yet but he's an only child and we aren't big pointers, in your opinion should I worry or not"

Just because of that? No, you shouldn't.

aquarius1994 Mon 19-Aug-19 20:58:09

@SmartPlay yes just Cos of lack of pointing was my question

In other ways he seems perfectly fine. Walks fine, can wave when he chooses to lol, claps lots. Says mamma and dadda and babes tons but not worries re lack of words as I spoke late and so did my hubby's brother.

He's very content happy little boy but it's just I hear soooo much about lack of pointing at my sons age of 17 months so I do worry but the thing is I'm with him all day he has everything he needs and if he doesn't then he cries or tugs at my dress to get my attention

SmartPlay Mon 19-Aug-19 21:05:48

@aquarius1994 If a child is delayed in an area, it will show in many different ways. So if him not pointing yet would be a sign of a delay in communication in general or non-verbal communication in particular or some problem with social interaction, you would notice it with other things too.

aquarius1994 Mon 19-Aug-19 21:20:56

@SmartPlay thank u for that x

ForeverBaffled Thu 22-Aug-19 22:18:40

Pointing is a massively important milestone though and it is considered delayed (and a red flag for autism) if there is no pointing by 18 months.

Kle209 Fri 23-Aug-19 06:52:41

My LB only just started pointing at 18m (and 1 week!), and I def worried about it loads, from around 12m, since everything you read says it’s a red flag. And even though you know you shouldn’t, it’s impossible not to focus on the things other kids are doing when yours isn’t. But as one of the pp said, if it’s the only sign of anything being wrong that you’re seeing I would try to just wait a bit longer. My LB seems to be NT (albeit with a speech delay), and just wasn’t interested in pointing until now.

Ultimately though if you’re concerned I would talk to your HV too.

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