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1 yr old screaming/crying - dummy...WWYD?

(2 Posts)
MeadowHay Wed 07-Aug-19 08:37:44

My DD LOVES her dummy. Is properly addicted to it. She doesn't have it tons in the day, it is mostly for sleep, occasionally if we're out as I get anxious about everyone tutting and judging if she cries (even though I know people are then judging if I get her to be quiet with a dummy...), and when she has her nappy changed. She was an absolute terror of a baby, she screamed most of the first 7 months of her life and then gradually reduced over time from then. Had lots of intervention with HCPs but nobody could find anything wrong with her although she does have hayfever, regularly has nappy rash, and possibly has asthma but they can't diagnose in this young and she seems a lot better the last month or so with her chest anyway.

She doesn't cry all the time anymore but there are a few things that always make her cry:
- In the morning she usually wakes up quite happy and sits in her cot and chats to us (she's still in our room). However after about 5 minutes she will just kick of screeching. This continues all the time until she's got her cup of milk in her mouth, so all through her teeth being brushed, all through me using the bathroom til I pick her up, then I have to hold her and sort her milk in one hand whilst she screeches because if I put her down she goes absolutely ballistic hysterical.
- At the moment she screeches whenever she has her teeth brushed and won't open her mouth, it's a nightmare.
- Every nappy change and clothes change including drying/changing after a bath or shower.
- She used to be fine in the bath or shower but now she screeches when she's getting her hair washed.
- She screeches most the time when she's put in the pram or car seat and sometimes gets distracted and stops after a few mins or sometimes I can distract with a toy, other times I give up and give her dummy as I feel embarrassed to be walking down the street with her yelling at the top of her lungs.

I have no problem with the dummy for sleep, it has been an absolute lifesaver for us and she's only little. However I'm aware guidance is to stop by 1 for teeth and she has quite a lot of teeth now. I don't really want her to have it outside of sleep, but I also don't want her to be distressed. Sometimes she is more yelling than crying but other times she is properly hysterical. This morning I lay her on the changing table thinking I would give it a go without a dummy and OMG. She was hysterical. It was awful and I felt horrible. DM keeps saying her MH is the most important thing and if she needs a dummy a lot for comfort especially during things she finds stressful like a nappy change then just give her it.

WWYD? Why does she still screech so much? Is this normal behaviour? Should I just be tough with the dummy and leave her to cry more? Cos it would mean leaving her to cry - I mean, I'd be with her, but nothing else works, she gets no comfort from me cuddling her or singing to her or distracting with toys etc we have tried absolutely everything already.

OP’s posts: |
SmartPlay Wed 07-Aug-19 11:42:50

I'd give her the dummy. I find recommendations like "no dummy from 1 year old" absolutely ridiculous and stupid. In a completely natural environment, children are being breastfed for several years, and therefore suckling. To deny children this, to simply pretend they don't have this need, is cruel.

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