Toddler becoming out of control now please help. Hoping it’s not ADHD

[Mumma301]

My little boy is 3.5 years old and has the loveliest nature, he’s so loving and can be really kind and funny. But he has this crazy side that’s becoming out of control. I thought it was just normal toddler behaviour testing boundries, hitting and getting over excited but I’m not so sure now and am desperate for help.

Examples, if he wants a drink he tears into the kitchen and will pull out all the bottles on the floor and kick them around before announcing he wants a drink. He’ll empty every toybox out then just sit there throwing toys around. He climbs everything, jumps everywhere, destroys books and generally runs around running and screaming at the top of his lungs all day.

I’ve tried everything, we’ll go out to run around and burn off energy but no amount of exercise is enough. I do all sorts of activities with him and his little brother and he’ll concentrate for 5 minutes before getting silly and messing the game up or doing his own thing. I can’t get him to have quiet time as he has ants in his pants so won’t read a book or watch TV without getting into mischief.

I always intervene when he’s being naughty or over excited. I tried explaining his behaviour which is ignored, I’ve tried the naughty step, he just does something naughty then just sits on it himself announcing to me what he’s done. I tried taking toys as punishment but he thinks it’s funny and just offers toys up now. I’ve tried reward charts and praising positive behaviour and while he’s excited about getting stars it’s not enough to stop him when he’s going berserk. I’ve even tried structured activities like soccer tots but he just rolls around the floor doing his own thing.

The final straw today has been him throwing books around which injured two children. I take great pride in trying to understand my kids and help them manage their emotions but I feel like I’ve exhausted everything. He’s very intelligent and loving and it breaks my heart that people are beginning to think badly of him.

Can anyone offer any advice or ideas? I’m at a loss now

[ElyElyOy]

Have you spoken to your HV? They may have some ideas of things you can do to help.

What is he like at nursery? Does he follow instructions etc?

[Confusedandworried321]

Sorry OP that sounds like really hard work, it sounds like you're doing a good job of managing it.

That does sound very full on for a child of that age (my DS is 3.7) although of course it doesn't necessarily mean anything is wrong with his development.

I would definitely contact your HV. If they fob you off and say it's normal development, I would just keep on at them if you find you're not coping.

[Mumma301]

Thank you both. He’s better at pre school but he is still quite disruptive there. I’ll give the HV ago, they’re not great in my area but it’s worth a try x

[ElyElyOy]

Definitely speak to your HV. Also speak to pre-school and ask them for a full update on their opinion of his behaviours etc.