Advanced search

sudden and unexplained change in ds' personality. Please help. Can't cope

(18 Posts)
AnAngelWithin Wed 01-Aug-07 17:29:36

ds2 is usually a very placid boy. He will sit and play and I don't know I have got him. But lately, he will errupt into such a temper, he ends up either physically hurting himself or someone else. He goes from one extreme to the other. One minute, playing fine, next minute, throwing punches at his big brother and sister. He really screams/growls at people. He started nursery 2 and a half days a week in april and he loves it. We have always used time out/naughty step as a form of punishment/reflection with all of our children but it's just not working with him. He will sit playing something and all off a sudden get up and jump around screaming and throwing whatever he was playing with around, often at some innocent person who happens to be in the room at the time. His speech has really come on since starting nursery and you can hold a good conversation with him, so it's not like its a communication issue. He constantly follows his big brother and sister around and hits them for no reason. He throws toys for no reason. He just seems as though he has got to destroy things. He goes to bed at 7pm and sleeps til 7am. I watch what additives are in food etc. If I give him a warning about his behaviour, he usually just screams and me and throws whatever is within reach at me, so I follow through and put him in the front door porch to chill out for a few minutes. When I tell him he can leave there, he just screams at me again or stamps his feet and runs off screaming. I am really at a loss with what to do with him. Please help me.

soapbox Wed 01-Aug-07 17:30:46

Testosterone surge - is he around 3-4yo?

Read raising boys by Steve Biddulph - is good re testosterone and hte impact of it on behaviour!

AnAngelWithin Wed 01-Aug-07 17:31:10

sorry meant to say he is 3.5

AnAngelWithin Wed 01-Aug-07 17:35:41

i have just put him in the porch again now for pushing his little sister on her face because he doesn't like what ds1 is watching on the telly. 'AAAARGH I HATE THIS' he yelled and shoved her down. She was simply in his destruction path at the time

AnAngelWithin Wed 01-Aug-07 17:36:08

a testosterone surge in a 3 year old?!?!

soapbox Wed 01-Aug-07 17:37:47


Apparently so - they get a big rise in testosterone at round about 3 to 4 yo which leads to some pretty agressive behaviour in some boys until they have learned to control themselves better!

FluffyMummy123 Wed 01-Aug-07 17:38:12

Message withdrawn

Rantmum Wed 01-Aug-07 17:39:51

well, hormones affect children throughout life from birth onwards "why boys are different" is also good on how testosterone may impact on male development.

Could also be an attention thing - do you think that he needs some alone time with you perhaps (without siblings)? As he gets older he may just need a different type of interaction with you than what he was content with as baby/young toddler.

AnAngelWithin Wed 01-Aug-07 17:41:14

blimey. i just don't remember ds1 being like this at all.

icod, he is like it from the second he gets up til the second he goes to bed so surely its not tiredness?

AnAngelWithin Wed 01-Aug-07 17:42:23

he gets alone time with me and with DH.

Rantmum Wed 01-Aug-07 17:42:57

Yeah, but did ds1 have a bit more time with your undivided attention?

Rantmum Wed 01-Aug-07 17:44:18

Maybe he feels competitive with older siblings (not your fault) and is taking it out in a negative way?

aloha Wed 01-Aug-07 17:44:35

Does Steve Biddulph quote any studies on this? Because I have searched and searched and not found anything that stands up his assertion about this testosterone surge.

AnAngelWithin Wed 01-Aug-07 17:45:16

by the time ds1 was ds2s age i had already got dd, so ds1 didnt really get that much time one on one with me

FluffyMummy123 Wed 01-Aug-07 17:45:38

Message withdrawn

soapbox Wed 01-Aug-07 17:46:58

I'll have a look tonight when I get home Aloha. Generally though, he doesn't tend to reference in to research IIRC.

Nevertheless, I certainly found it a good excuse when DS went through a physically agressive spell at around that age

Oblomov Wed 01-Aug-07 17:48:19

Aloha, I know of Steve B's theory - is he the only one who suggests this ?

Rantmum Wed 01-Aug-07 17:48:38

don't know anything about a surge (cos I never read that book) but I am sure that hormones do affect different boys differently. Think it is a little unlikely to be reason AnAngelW is having probs.

AnAngel, could your ds2 simply be doing this because he knows he get a rise from you? He knows it really gets to you and is guaranteed to centre all attention in his direction (toddlers are BIG fans of being the centre of attention, as I am sure you know) it could be that he has just found this a very effective way to have everyone focus on him?
Could you all completely ignore him/walk away from him when he acts this way?

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: