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Feeling scared

(5 Posts)
Dhunsberger Tue 30-Jul-19 01:51:42

I’m feeling worried about my little guy. He seems behind on some things.....no clapping, giving, waving. He does not bang toys together either.

What made me scared Red was what happened today at the Early Years Center. I sat him down to play with two other babies his age (within a month). They were playing with toy cars and trucks. Pushing them along....picking them up. But with my little guy, he kept crawling over to different ones, knocking them over and spinning the wheels....He does this at home and has never used a toy car correctly. I felt awkward and I think the other moms thought it was weird.

The internet screams this this is a HUGE red flag for autism....so naturally with the lack of some gestures I’m getting scared.

Does anyone else’s little ones play with cars or trucks like this?

He has had a lot of positives....
- he is social and smiles at everyone
- he reaches to be picked up
- he reaches for things he wants
- he says mama and dada. Sometimes in context, but sometimes just babbling.
- he responds to his name most of the time and always if I say ‘Lachlan look at mommy’
- he follows a proximal point and is starting with distal although it’s hit or miss.
- he has excellent receptive language. We can ask him ‘where’s x’ for at least 20 different items and he will look in that direction
- he follows several commands
- he initiates peekaboo. Also if I hide and call his name, he’ll come find me (unless something catches his eye on the way)
- he can throw a ball and will roll it back and forth with us. He will reach out his hands in anticipation of getting the ball.
- he has good eye contact.
- he shows us objects by holding it up. If we ask what he has he will look at it and back to us.
- he is very attached to me and will often cry if I leave.
- he is crying when we put him down for naps and bedtime, so I think he is going through separation anxiety.
- he babbles a lot. People often comment how chatty he is.

When i I type this out, I see that he can do a lot and it makes me feel better.

But it then I think about the gesturing, inappropriate play with certain toys (he seems to throw everything, plays with lid on shape sorter...), not to mention what every milestone list says he HAS to be doing by 12 months and I get scared.

Am am I being ridiculous and expecting too much? Everyone else thinks he’s normal. What’s wrong with me?

Here is a video of him today following instruction.
https://youtu.be/nYJrgrkuioQ

OP’s posts: |
HennyPennyHorror Tue 30-Jul-19 04:30:59

He's fine! Lots of babies and toddlers are fascinated with the way things work and with wheels.

It's you who might be suffering from something...anxiety. This is common after having a baby...talk to your doctor OP...there's no need to suffer and worry like this. flowers

AladdinMum Tue 30-Jul-19 08:57:19

If he is only 12M old then it is not concerning, it is age appropriate.

mummyintheunknown Thu 01-Aug-19 16:29:23

@Dhunsberger I think you may be suffering from a bit of anxiety. I doubt the other mums were thinking your little one was weird for looking at the wheels on the cars. Trust me! They were probably too thinking what there little was doing...wondering if they were doing the right thing etc.

Do you have a partner you can chat to? A close friend? Good to share when you feel this way.

I constantly worried about my DD - over small things that were nothing at all. I had anxiety. Talk to your GP if it gets worse. Xxxx

surreygirl1987 Thu 01-Aug-19 21:31:41

How old is he? My son is almost 10 months and sounds similar. He LOVES wheels on cars! He also doesn't wave or give me things or clap, although he does bang his toys together (but only after I did it in front of him over and over again!).

I had anxiety when my son was born as he had some health issues such as torticollis and cmpa. As a result I missed out on enjoying his early weeks (Though hard when he was screaming all the time!). I then spiralled into anxiety convincing myself there was all sorts wrong with him. At different points I've convinced myself he has autism, aspergers, cerebal palsy and cranio. He probably doesn't have any of these things but my brain (combined with google) was convinced in the first couple of months! And if he does have autism for instance (he does have some red flags), it's not like I can do anything about it anyway so I may as well just enjoy him. I remember a doctor saying to me 'just enjoy him' when he was a few weeks old and I was panicking about his cmpa and i thought how stupid, how can I enjoy him when I'm so worried... but actually woth hindsight it is the only thing to do. Nobody would give a diagnosis at this stage any way... and nothing you do can 'cure' autism any way. Besides that, it wouldn't be the end of the world anyway!
Finally, I think pretty much every member of my NCT group has worried that there's something wrong with their babies at some point. At least 3 of us have voiced autism fears to each other. I think it's a normal thing to worry about but please don't let it sap your enjoyment of these early months smile

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