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Please help me cope with 15 month old tantruming FIEND before I run away to join the circus

(9 Posts)
littlelapin Mon 30-Jul-07 15:54:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mumpbump Mon 30-Jul-07 15:58:59

Well, dh does distraction; I do ignoring. Choose your battles wisely is the obvious one, but everything you'd described sounds important so I guess you're already doing that. After ignoring/time out, big cuddle once they've calmed down...

Saturn74 Mon 30-Jul-07 16:00:53

Distract if something dangerous going on.
Ignore if not dangerous.
Then ignore some more.
Then don red nose and practise your tumbling routine.

Desiderata Mon 30-Jul-07 16:01:20

That's a tough one with a 15 month old. There's no point in reasoning, distraction only works sometimes, and ignoring usually leads to more of the same.

Gird your loins, lapin. 'Tis a phase, and if his nature is generally sweet, (he'll dip in and out of the tantrums for a long while yet), you'll be able to use more effective techniques when he's two.

He's just frustrated. When his speech comes, much of it will slip away.

littlelapin Mon 30-Jul-07 16:26:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mumpbump Mon 30-Jul-07 16:35:37

Well, if you think it's frustration, then I think you have to try to be sympathetic and help them, give them affection. I think you can have a pretty good guess at whether it is frustration or a genuine tantrum from the circumstances...

mummymagic Mon 30-Jul-07 16:37:23

Hey, I have a 15mth old dd and I think its important to remember that a tantrum is them legitimately gettting cross because life is not going their way. I try to remember that they are allowed to be cross but that they need to learn to manage their emotions iykwim.

I usually ignore the wailing for a moment and then suggest something else in a happy voice. Mind you, she has only had a couple of full-on paddys. Ignore, then offer a happy 'way-out'. eg I wouldn't put the telly on as she was supposed to be about to eat breakfast. She wouldn't sit in her highchair and I thought 'f this' and put her on the floor. She wailed for a bit while I ate my breakfast and after a minute (if that) I said do you want to come and have some breakfast? and she happily came and sat (as if it hadnt happened ).

Dn't know if this is helpful. Its exactly what I do with the secondary kids I teach (who can't manage their anger either)

littlelapin Mon 30-Jul-07 16:40:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mummymagic Mon 30-Jul-07 16:52:54

They understand LOADS at this age (well, my dd does) and ignoring just means not giving any attention to it (I don't really do the ignoring them so much iykwim.). I don't think Time Out is the same as ignoring as it gives too much attention!

I dont do punishment (time out etc, especially at this age) but I do consequences - if you do that again, i will take it away (and do it). But I am a huge believer in positive discipline - happy distraction if it works but allowing them to have a bit of a strop without drawing attention to it i not and then offering a happy 'way-out' when they've finished.

Dd doesn't really scream though. She stamps her feet and goes 'uurrrrrr'. I don't think it stops when they speak. Cos she is frustrated cos she is saying something but we don't know what she is saying . I find it hard not to laugh at her but I don't think that's very nice.

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