Birds and Bees!(19 Posts)
We've just been given "Mummy laid an Egg" Babbette Cole, all about the way babies are made. Dd1 (4 1/2) loves it and seems to understand how Mummys and Daddies "fit together"! This is our first step into this kind of thing. Just wondered how the rest of you tackled this and at what age?
And are their any other "pivotal" books? We've got "Lauras Star" about letting go when someone dies but I dont think dd1 quite gets it yet.
Batey, we did it a bit younger (4ish) because he was asking. I explained it all (in my own words, eggs and seeds and all that) and he said "is it like mating?" - he's a wildlife programme watcher. When I said yes, but it's called sex in humans he fell about saying "mummy said sex! mummy said sex!" Don't know where he got the idea that this was a "rude" or funny word from. He also said (before this little talk) "if I have a baby brother or sister I can help you look after it but I'm not allowed to be there when you make it, am I?" Mmmm, so he's got the idea then
Batey - Mummy Laid an Egg is also one of our firm favourites, although I don't think dd really knows what it is about.
Re other important books, I bought the Amazing Grace books on someone's recommendation here when I was worried about my dd accepting other people being different to her in some way, and she really enjoys them. Apparantly Elmer the Elephant books are also good for this, although I am not sure I really see this in the couple we have.
I never once asked my parents about sex or even the teacher or anything. It was one of those things you just knew, without really knowing how you knew it. It was the same with all the kids at school. The only thing I didn't know about was condoms. I first heard that word from another child when I was 11.
We had our first talk - about periods and babies -when ds was 3 1/2. We used a human body type encyclopedia and just talked generally. I'm sure there will be plenty more to come though!
jbr that was my experience too, although I do remember my mum explaining to me about periods when I was 11 or 12 and me being mildly embarrassed because I knew already .
Jasper, I didn't know anything about that until my Mum asked another relative to tell me. I was about 10 at the time. Then we got told again in school, the girls all separate from the boys!
At out schoo; the girls and boys were locked away from each other, so the girls could be shown tampons etc! I remember the boys were let out to break first and were peering in through the window!
We had Mummy Laid an Egg hanging round the house for ages - I was amazed when my 10yr old's teacher said they recommended it for sex education, but not to let his 8yr old brother see it! Too late I fear ...
We went into long explanations (age about 3) when the next baby was due (no 2 and 3 seems to have just picked it up), with unskilful drawings by me. I thought it had all been understood, but our childminder was hard put to control herself when she heard that 'daddy gets an egg from the fridge and hammers it into mummy'. Just surprised I didn't have a chicken.
LOL Copper! They get so confused, don't they? My son's nusery has been doing topics on mini beasts and birds recently and my son has got v confused... Sample questions/statements:
Who hatched first, Mummy, me or my brother?
When I was borned you pooed an egg out of your tummy onto a leaf and sat on it. Then I popped out and you were so happy!
I never had this problem when I was young as both of my parents were very open and explained everything very scientifically and showed me the anatomical drawings (both were nurses) so by the time I was 6 or 7 I knew what was what and what went where.
Still didn't understand how any babies got made as it meant you had to be alone with a girl (terrible creatures at that age and not anything you wanted to be near) but I finally worked that one out for my self.
I'm just hoping that when DD asks I can be as helpful.
Having recently had baby No2 I decided to explain to DS1 (5yrs old) all about how babies are made. We had body books from the library, long chats and explanations from me and various questions from him. I think he understood and I tried not to hold back and give as accurate discriptions as I could and all seemed to go well.
Then he found a packet of condoms in our room! Again he asked what they were and I was a bit flummuxed (sp?). I told him that they were for when mummy and daddy didn't want to have a baby but you could tell that that went straight over his head. Why on earth would you do THAT if you didn't want a baby? Do you think that 5 is too young to have had these conversations, I don't want to frighten or confuse him too much? I'm just keen to establish an open relationship with him so that he can always feel comfortable discussing things with me if he wants to.
Maudy, good for you, I think it is brilliant that you are being so open, and I just hope that I can be too. Due next week, and ds (3) has decided that baby will come out of my bottom! I haven't said anything to correct him as I reckon he is in the right area.
I think 5 is prob a good age to start what you want to continue
I'm a firm believer in waiting until children ask about babies etc (providing its not at 16!!!). My ds first got curious at about 5 and I told him in very simple terms about the daddy giving the mummy a special seed which would grow inside her and become a baby. When he turned almost 7, he wanted to know in greater detail about how the seed got there which is when I talked about intercourse and used anatomical names rather than willy etc. I thought he had understood but he recently asked me if 'sex' was a rude word! I think he is confused as he has heard the 'f' word a lot at school lately from some older boys and asked what it meant!
Dd is 5 and hasn't shown any interest yet in where babies come from. She knows Baby Annabel came from Santa but thats about it!!
My kids 8&6 haven't asked that many questions about sex yet. They do know a bit about periods though from seeing tampons around the house. I told them that mummy's body made a nest ready inside just incase a baby came and if there isn't a baby, the nest isn't needed and comes out on to the bottom bandages(my sons words)My son did come home from school the other day having read the definition of sex in a dictionary. He was too embaressed to tell me about it though as he thought it was too rude. I put the dictionary's clinical terms into kids speak and said that it wasn't rude but a natural , normal thing. He didn't want to really talk about it though so I let the matter drop.
Maudy, good for you, I think 5 is fine for conversations like this although we did it earlier, but only because ds was asking at 4. I think you're doing the right thing being open with him - I had an old aunt who was coy with me when I asked what some cotton wool pleats in the bathroom were for and so I spent about 10 years thinking there must be something 'rude' about them because of the way she'd answered my question about their use! So I'm matter of fact and answer ds's questions honestly as far as possible.
My dd1 (5) is very curious about all things to do with her body-"what makes me ill, where does my food go, what's poo etc". So have recently bought her Usbournes First science book. Which has loads of questions and answers like that, and LOADS of pictures and diagrams done in a child friendly way. She's fascinated by what the body looks like on the inside........maybe she'll be a Doctor??!! Actually, she wants to be an artist!
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