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returned scratched from nursery

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rbmilliner Wed 12-Jun-19 07:37:51

Should I be concerned?
When I collected my little one - just turned two -from nursery today she had several deep scratches on both sides of her face close to her eye. Her little face looked quite swollen and sore.
The young girl who handed her over said her face had been grabbed over a disputed toy and could I sign the incident report to say I'd been advised.
I said I was really concerned and wanted to speak to the manager as this isn't the first time I've had to sign an incident report about scratches to her face which I've put down to kids being kids up till now but this time it seemed so much more well brutal.
I understand that the nursery can't tell me which child it was but I asked my little one as I had my suspicions and she confirmed them telling me it was her little friend. The nursery manager didn't say yes directly but kind of confirmed it by saying they were playing together 5 mins later. They usually adore each other but are very close with one another to the exclusion of other children.
The nursery have said she plays with everyone when her little friend isn't there.
I don't know if it were the same child on previous occasions but this is the third report I've had to sign since christmas. Should I be worried? Should I change her days and so she mixes with other kids? I don't want to socially engineer her friendships if she's happy but I do want her to be safe and mix with other children .
My OH said we should be teaching her to give as good as she gets or she'll be walked all over but do two wrongs make a right the, is that the message I want to send her - just not sure?
I know I'm probably being over dramatic but it was a horrible shock to see her looking like that.

OP’s posts: |
Laserbird16 Wed 12-Jun-19 14:32:17

It is tricky, of course you don't want your DD to be hurt but it is the age when children are still learning how to operate socially and frankly have rubbish motor control and impulse control so these things happen.

I would ask the nursery how they manage the incidents and if possible teach your DD some strategies if things are getting rather physical than try and seperate them or rejig your childcare days.

I can empathise as my DD had a little friend at nursery she adored but she would bite DD all the time! For a period DD would come home with great big bruises on her arms and even once on her face! The staff reassured me they monitored them closely when they were playing and would redirect if things were getting a bit hectic. I did get to see first hand how they responded as one pick up a biting happened. To be honest it was so quick nobody could have prevented it and the childcare workers soothed upset DD with an icepack and cuddles. They told the child we don't bite our friends, look how sad DD is and then make up cuddles.

I wouldn't encourage your DD to give as good as she gets but to use her words - you don't want your DD to be the child people are avoiding. I told DD her friend was still learning, we don't bite our friends and coached DD to tell her friend to not bite her, it hurt, and move away or talk to the childcare staff. Naturally the other child grew out of biting and DD is still very adamant we don't hurt other people.

Maybe you can also suggest nursery ask the child's parents keep her nails trimmed to try and limit the damage?

All in all not nice but pretty normal. Two year olds are such sweeties and generally want to try and do the right thing, they just suck at the execution sometimes!

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