Toddler doesn't participate in groups

(4 Posts)
Eggybetty Sun 09-Jun-19 06:37:08

My 3 year old DS is the never the kid that sits down with the rest to listen to stories etc. He always wants to run off and do other stuff. I find he doesn’t care for other children much either. Nursery says he’s really sociable but when we go to parties you’d think he doesn’t know the children, doesn’t want to be anywhere near them or other kids, doesn’t want to join in games and then gets upset if I try to encourage him which can result in a tantrum throwing himself back and screaming so I leave it to save embarrassment in front of the other parents, don’t want them looking at him a way. Sometimes if a child comes to speak to him he’ll say No and point in their face or acts like he’s terrified. But then other times he’ll be really sweet and say hello and if he sees kids running around he’ll go and join in screaming and laughing lots. His speech is delayed so I think a lot of it is this but find it really hard. Dread taking him to parties or meet ups with other parents and their children coz I know he may behave bad and really unsociable. The account the nursery give is what I only see probably 1/3 times. At home he has a younger sister he is great with, loves his cousins too always wants to talk to them on the phone and likes one of my friend’s kids but not the other. He’s also been speaking about friends from nursery tho when we went to a party yday he didn’t even acknowledge one of them, just didn’t wanna be there til the end when he warmed up and didn’t wanna leave. Anyone else have this and how do you deal with it? What’s the best way to encourage group participation in activities and being sociable? Thanks

OP’s posts: |
SeaToSki Sun 09-Jun-19 11:12:28

At age three, i think you can just relax about it. He is still figuring it out and if you say he is fine at nursery, then he can manage it.

If you go to parties, just let him decide what he wants to do (unless he is causing problems in which case you need to step in).

Eggybetty Sun 09-Jun-19 20:22:53

Ok thanks. It just feels like he doesn’t want to do anything and takes forever to warm up! At the party we went to my DH who was with our other DD kept telling me to get him involved but forcing it made it worse and then I felt like I wasn’t doing enough. I guess we just worry he gets into a habit of being that way.

OP’s posts: |
SeaToSki Mon 10-Jun-19 11:45:11

Some kids just need the space to hang back and assess the situation for themselves. He may join in eventually, but with the confidence that its on his terms. If you push him too much too soon, he might not learn how to do it himself. You will give him confidence by being confident in him.

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