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3.5 yr old sleep problems

(4 Posts)
Ray444 Fri 07-Jun-19 10:54:28

We adopted a 3yr old girl after fostering her from 11mnth old , she spent 8.5 months in hospital hooked up to various drops, she was born with a severe bowel condition , she was rarely visited while in hospital , and has as a result developed a severe dislike of being left in cot , she finds any reason to call us in and when we dont do what she wants she just screams and screams , we have decided to let her scream herself to sleep we just dont know if this is right put we have tried everything, we have tried keeping her up until she tried but this makes it worse , if we pander to her it just delays the inevitable screaming , and we really don't think that letting her get her own way is the answer. , any help would be appreciated

OP’s posts: |
Cliffdonville Fri 07-Jun-19 19:23:52

That sounds really hard, I don't think I'd leave her to cry, especially with her background.
I read one where you sit in the room with her quietly until she sleeps and get a bit closer to the door each night until you are outside. Something like that might work.

TigerQuoll Sat 08-Jun-19 01:55:46

You should post on the Adoption board to get good advice

Dirtyjellycat Sat 08-Jun-19 07:37:07

I agree with the PP, please get this moved to the adoption board as there will be lots of good advice there. If you report your post, admin will move this for you.
FWIW I’m an adopter and I would never let her cry it out in this way. She is communicating her fear to you in the only way she knows how - she is scared of being left alone. By letting her cry it out, you are reinforcing to her that she is alone. Could you stay with her each night until she falls asleep? I do that with my son, though he’s a little younger. If he wakes, I go in and stay again until he’s asleep. Yes, it’s hard work, but it won’t be forever. Once she feels more secure, she won’t demonstrate the same pattern of behaviour.

Good luck.

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