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assertiveness training - anyone with experience?

(12 Posts)
tatt Fri 20-Jul-07 17:25:15

either personally or for children. Did it make any difference or do you think personality is unchangeable?

Wisteria Fri 20-Jul-07 20:04:10

Hi Tatt
I feel it certainly makes a difference to how you approach a situation and can give you the skills to handle situations which you may have otherwise run from.
I don't think a personality is 'unchangeable' but you can become more aware of certain facets of your character and alter your reactions in order to give yourself an 'easier' or better life IYSWIM.
I have been trying to teach my daughter how to be more assertive as she is very easily led peer wise. It seems to be working quite well so far and she is learning to stand up for herself.

Tortington Fri 20-Jul-07 20:05:20

it can give you tricks to pull in certain situations

callmeovercautious Fri 20-Jul-07 20:26:14

I have done it with Managers in the workplace and it is different, you are reversing a learnt behaviour. With them it is usually about teaching them to turn agressive behaviour into assertive. With Children you are teaching them life skills. Being Confident and firm in their beliefs learning to say no when appropriate and yes when needing to share etc.
I would need to know more to be more useful I am afraid!
It is a very deep subject but personality can be changed in that you can change behaviour.

callmeovercautious Fri 20-Jul-07 20:29:26

Just to add - you could look into the whole "are you born or bred to be .....". e.g. Are you genetically predetermined to be shy or is it the way you are raised etc.

Personally I believe the two play an equal part.

Wisteria Fri 20-Jul-07 20:31:42

Callme - changing your behaviour doesn't change your personality though IMO, it just gives you tools to use to compensate for aspects of your personality which you don't like, or are not helpful to the situation that you find yourself in.

tatt Sat 21-Jul-07 10:09:48

my children don't contribute enough in class, especially one who is in a very noisy class. They need to learn how to assert themselves more in group situations. I'm wondering whether to try and find some training for them. The school doesn't do assertiveness training, when pushed they suggested I talk to a senco at a nearby school.

Wisteria Sat 21-Jul-07 14:06:52

How old are they Tatt?
Mine never did either but I found that by speaking to their form teachers I could convince the teachers to help them to find ways to communicate by pushing them a bit in class and forcing the issue a bit. They both do now although revert a bit when they start a new year.

tatt Sat 21-Jul-07 20:34:35

Teens. I've had a chat with form teacher about the worst one and they have promised me that the teachers will push it a bit. I agree it makes a big difference, the quiet ones get overlooked in noisy classes. TBH I don't see mine as very shy but some of the other children are brash.

Wisteria Sun 22-Jul-07 12:27:25

Sound like mine Tatt tbh, but most teens seem to lose the power to speak in coherent sentences for a while anyway - preferring the grunting form of communication!

tatt Sun 22-Jul-07 20:06:39

thanks for the reply. No grunts yet but whatver a time or too

yellowfrin Tue 24-Jul-07 11:24:49

Tatt I run assertiveness courses for adults and yes they do make a difference. Just thinking that it could be a wee bit boring though (adults find it hard sometimes). Why not increase their confidence by doing something they might enjoy. For example taking them to the local climbing wall where they can challenge themselves and therefor gain more confidence. U would need some chats to transfer these newly learnt skills into the classroom environment though..

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