Worried about DS (9)

[thisisgettingridiculous]

I am lying here awake, can't sleep. Worried sick about my beautiful, wonderful, amazing DS because he is 9 and things are a struggle for him.

School is hard, music is hard, sports are hard and I worry about him so much.

His brother (7) is a natural at everything (school, sport, socially). They both play football and DS 9 has been sidelined from his team and so wasn't asked to play at this huge tournament today where his brother and lots of friends from school and football were.

This has just gutted me as I am so protective of him. My children are mixed race too in a very non-diverse environment which makes me feel more protective. Typing this makes me feel silly but I needed to vent. For some reason these things trigger me deeply in terms of anxiety and depression and I just feel miserable rn.

[HennyPennyHorror]

I can understand OP. One of my children isn't as academic as the other and whenever the less academic child has a bit of a knock, I feel very upset for her.

However...it's VITAL not to show this to the child. They'll think they're weak or that they're not as good.

It's important to jolly them along and not dwell. What are your son's strengths? You talk a lot about what he's not good at but there must be something he's good at?

My non academic child is a great actor and excellent at telling stories...she can make them up and just tell them. She's also funny as hell and a good runner.

What is your son good at? You must push and encourage him in that area...whatever it is.

[thisisgettingridiculous]

Thank you for understanding. It is hugely appreciated 😊 he is good at art, musical (just struggles with the formal bit), brilliant at maths, good at gymnastics and very creative generally. I do encourage him a lot and build him up. I just get so down sometimes when it feels a bit like everything is a struggle. When I see how easily things come to younger DS I just crave that for my older DS. But I will carry on pushing forward 😊

[Jossina]

You are doing a good job. Maybe try thinking about how more challenges will help him as he gets older. He'll be more resilient, more understanding and empathetic. His memoirs will be a lot more interesting to read :)

Hopefully as your boys get older the younger one will also show/tell his older brother why he appreciates him.

[thisisgettingridiculous]

Wow, thank you for the lovely reply. That is what I needed to be reminded of. His younger brother loves him very much and very openly. Thank you ❤❤❤

[JeanieJardine55]

Ah, yes. You could be talking about my ds2. He struggled with absolutely everything, but he is the one who studied hard for his exams and did well, the one with the great work ethic, the one who pushes himself physically and is suddenly sporty, although not the sports he did in school. You should hear him play piano which he only took up a couple of years ago for his own pleasure.