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Please reassure me about 9 month old not copying me etc!

(17 Posts)
blob2be Wed 18-Jul-07 21:02:11

I have posted before on this subject, but as DS gets older and still doesn't copy me I'm starting to get a bit concerned. He's 9 months old and is in good general health. But here are the things that worry me: he doesn't cry when left with strangers and can't see me (he is quieter and shyer but not distressed); he doesn't wave or clap; he doesn't cry when you take a toy away from him; he doesn't copy noises or expressions (I have thought he has before but those times are so isolated I'm ruling them out as coincidence). On the plus side, he is smiley and affectionate and responds well to cuddles; DH and I can get him to laugh easily with tickles/funny faces and noises; he does seem to copy in other ways, eg, will touch what I touch in a book about 50% of the time; he will look at DH when I ask 'Where's Dad?'. I guess what I would love to know is whether the copying that he does do means I shouldn't worry about the lack of verbal copying and gestures? I'm sorry if I sound paranoid and neurotic! I'm starting to get a bit obsessive now, especially comparing him to other babies, who I'm starting to avoid, as they all seem to be so super-advanced comapred to DS! Thank you in advance for any advice.

lilymolly Wed 18-Jul-07 21:07:47

Sounds normal to me.

He is only 9months old, my dd never cries when she is left with strangers, clapped at about 10months, waved at about a year, and prob could copy things at around 1 year?

Think you may be a little bit paranoid over this, he sounds perfectly normal to me

Try to not worry, but if you still do worry, then talk to your hv.
HTH

Skimty Wed 18-Jul-07 21:11:44

I was exactly the same. You read all these things that they should be doing. DS didn't copy for ages - no sticking out of tongue from birth or anything. Then at about 10 mths started to be able to be 'trained'!! He has a book with the words 'tiny nose' in that DH used to read to him and touch his nose. He hadn't read it to him for about 4 weeks and then he picked it up again. As soon as he got to the page DS touched his nose which just shows that he was aware of what was going on. Sorry, long post just to day don't worry. Of course, you could always check it out with HV

chestnutter Wed 18-Jul-07 21:12:08

He sounds normal to me - give it another 6 weeks or so. Am sure he'll be waving in a couple of months. HV is a good idea - they see loads of babies and will hopefully be able to reassure you. Try to relax and enjoy him

Skimty Wed 18-Jul-07 21:12:46

PS It's a good thing he doesn't cry with strangers - it shows he's secure.

Luella Wed 18-Jul-07 21:14:21

Try not to worry so much and try to enjoy him. My DD waved at about 10 months and clapped at about 13 months. I did notice other babies doing things she didn't but as soon as I stopped worrying she started doing them. 9 months is still very little and they do develop at different rates. Don't avoid doing things which involve other babies, they are only this little for such a short amount of time, you don't want to waste it.

blob2be Wed 18-Jul-07 21:22:26

Wow, thank you all so much for your replies. Knowing that other mums have had similar thoughts/experiences really helps. Also helps me to put things in perspective and try not to have too many expectations of him! I catch myself focussing madly on what he can't do and sometimes I miss out enjoying what he can do. I'm a bit obsessed with development books and the milestone charts, which have plagued me into feelings of pure paranoia and fear since the day he was born!

Sakura Thu 19-Jul-07 08:11:45

She sounds like my DD (10 months). Its hard not to look at other babies, especiallly if this baby is your first. But there will be things your son can do that other babies can`t do, I`m sure. For example, I bet your son is crawling. My DD is 11 months next week and this week just managed to crawl a bit, but still rarely does so. She can clap, but can`T wave goodbye. She never copies what I do, noises or gestures (apart from clapping). I think that `smiley` and `affectionate` are huge pluses. Raising happy children is the main goal here

Sunshine78 Thu 19-Jul-07 08:19:16

Just throw the development books and charts away each baby is different and does things their way. With my DS he could climb anything but didn't talk much and his friend could talk for England and not climb now they are 3 there is no difference in them. You will soon know as they get older if there is anything seriusly wrong and the HV do do regular checks mine are at 9months 2 years and 3 years which are designed to pick anything up.

SleeplessInTheStaceym11House Thu 19-Jul-07 08:21:03

my dd could talk at this age , one or two words, but ds the same age doesnt copy either. try not to worry they get there in their own time and usually they are 'mental' or 'physical' my dd is mental and ds is 'physical'!

Skimty Thu 19-Jul-07 08:45:54

Also, I think (though someone can correct me) that on average boys are slower at this wort of thing than girls so will probably hit 'communication' milestone a bit after the 'right' age. Of course, there are always exceptions to the rule.

Sunshine78 Thu 19-Jul-07 08:59:12

I'm sorry but comments like boys are slower than boys really irritate me my DS and DD have hit each milestone at roughly the same time, they just as you say have their own personalities and so they do what interests them the most.

Skimty Thu 19-Jul-07 09:03:28

I know that's why I said ^in general^.

blob2be Fri 20-Jul-07 13:54:23

Thanks everyone for your replies, really appreciated. The thing is though, DS is neither 'physical' or 'mental'! He is coomando crawling a bit but not pulling himself up to standing. He can pull himself up onto his knees but that's about all. He can walk along when I guide him, holding on to his arms. Am not so worried about the physical stuff but is a little concerning that he's not 'taking off' with either gross motor skills or language/copying skills. He's good with eye contact and babbling and is usually 'chatty' and noisy (although a bit feverish and poorly these past couple of days so not so much just recently). Do you think these are good signs? Sorry I'm so paranoid and neurotic I know!

blob2be Fri 20-Jul-07 13:56:12

Oh and skimty I have to agree about the boys/girls thing. Comparing DS to baby boys his age who I come across almost always reassures me. Comparing him to girls his age, who are almost always way more advanced than him, drives me crazy!

fearscape Fri 20-Jul-07 15:01:10

Stop worrying now!! My ds is almost a year old. He's not showing any signs of crawling or pulling himself up, although he walks when you hold his hands, and only learned to roll over a few weeks ago. He doesn't wave or do much copying. He makes 2 kinds of babbling noise. He never cries with strangers. He has only just started objecting if you take a toy away but forgets almost instantly. He can't do half the things that his friends the same age (who we see all the time) do. He is gorgeous and I adore him and he will do everything in his own time. And so will your ds!

I always seem to be posting on "my baby isn't doing X" posts

blob2be Tue 24-Jul-07 18:49:58

I just thought I would update this thread I started, as when I'm looking through message archives I'm always desperate to know what the eventual outcome was! To my amazement, DS copied me yesterday - he smacked his lips together after I did. And then he blew a raspberry in imitation of me, and then he stuck his tongue out! I've been delightedly getting him to do it all day today. It's so amazing how he just suddenly started! Thought it would come gradually, if it came at all. And then, as if that wasn't brilliant enough, he started crawling yesterday too! I guess I'll have to look for other things to worry about now (something tells me I won't find that too difficult )! Thanks so much for your replies, they really helped to reassure me.

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