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Behaviour/development

3yo doesn't seem to be coping with change

1 reply

Stroan · 10/05/2019 21:28

DD is 3.5, and I'm aware that a lot of this may just be normal age related development.

I am 23 weeks pregnant so she hears a lot about the baby, more from others than us. I've also had a difficult pregnancy so haven't been able to do the same things with her and she's had a few extra sessions at nursery when I've been ill.

For the last 4-6 weeks, she's gone from being easy going and responsive to a bit of a handful. Lots of defiance, throwing stuff in anger, hitting and kicking (just us) and everything we try to do just becomes a massive battle - even when it's going out to do fun stuff for her.

She's been more emotional in lots of ways, but in particular if there is any change. She cried for days when we got rid of an old kitchen table, was upset this morning because I sold her old highchair and refuses to go into the nursery. She's not used it for 18 months and has her own lovely room which she is very happy with. She says that she is sad because it used to be her room and now it isn't.

Is there anything we can do to help her cope better with change given a pretty huge one is coming her way?

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NuffSaidSam · 11/05/2019 05:04

Bless her. She's probably just feeling a bit insecure.

She needs lots of reassurance.

Keep routine as much as you can.

Always flag up what is going to happen before it happens, so for e.g. On Wednesday we're going to be giving the kitchen table to another family because we need to get a bigger one' and then 'tomorrow the kitchen table will be going to its new home' and then 'today the kitchen table is going so it won't be here when you come back from school' and then 'remember when we get home the kitchen table won't be there because it's gone to it's new home' etc.

Remember that she doesn't know what's in your head, she doesn't fully understand how the world works and she is absolutely and totally reliant on you for everything....it can be quite scary! Things that seem small to you because you've planned them/discussed them, you know what's going to happen and you have the power to influence one way or the other could be totally overwhelming for her.

A calendar for her might be helpful. So she can visualise what's happening and when. You can discuss with her what's happening and she can refer back and ask questions etc.

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