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Experienced teen parents- how would you handle this?(8 Posts)
Ds 13 always late to bed. Consequently tired and grumpy with siblings.
A week ago he was told to go to bed. Ten mins later he's playing his guitar. Reminded to go to bed. Lots of movement in his room, I thought hes getting ready for bed. Nope the guitar comes out again. Told it is now time for bed.....faff faff etc then finally in bed midnight. I'm sick of the grumpyness.
Last night I went up to say goodnight at 10 he said I'm just doing my homework! I hadn't known about it, was to be in for today. Tbf he's usually early with his honework. Anyway he was up till after midnight doing it and I was in bed before him.
Two night ago was similar and then he couldn't get up in the morning missed the school bus.
Tonight he was winding up his little brother who then retaliated. Ds1 pushed ds2's head away. Both started arguing at the dinner table and wpuld not stop despite being told to. Then ds laughed at me and mocked me when I told him off.
I've changed the Wi-Fi password and he's really angry. Said he's just going to stay up to 1am reading "just to annoy me."
Help me please.
I still say goodnight to ds(15) at lights out on a school night. If I didn't he'd faff about and it would be midnight before he realised how late it was too. Lights out is 10:30 so he gets 8.5hrs sleep, he sometimes goes earlier if tired. He chooses his own bedtime at weekends/holidays only.
He spends an hour every night on homework and /or revision once he's in from school/after school activity before any screens or downtime so it's never left until last minute.
Can you remove the distractions from the bedroom OP? My 14yo DS has never been a good sleeper but his school night bedtime is 10pm and his phone has to stay downstairs. No console or anything in his room. He sleeps with a bedside light on (nightlight basically) which isn't ideal but he finds it reassuring. He complains about having a 10pm bedtime but is ok actually going upstairs. He also hates reading, so that doesn't get in the way of sleep
Tbh it sounds like your DS is a bit cheeky/argumentative in other ways - I wonder if that's his general personality or hormones rather than sleep? Either way, I agree sleep is paramount.
If it were me when I saw him playing the guitar instead of going to bed I would remove it from his room and give it back a week later.
I think I'd call his bluff one the reading.
Leave the WiFi off, remove the guitar and leave him to it. Every morning he can't get up for school is another day the WiFi is off.
@Goldmandra- couldn’t have put it better myself
Confiscating electronics works well here. If I turned off Wifi they'd use mobile data. I would have taken the guitar for the night the first time that he mucked about. Playing a guitar when his younger brother was asleep would have pissed me off too. Probably would have told him that if he can't be quiet at night then he can have the same bedtime as the 10yo. Is he still going to bed at the same time if you start the routine earlier?
What are the consequences of missing the bus? Does he get a lift (and inconvenience you) or does he have to walk?
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