Is 8yr old a typical 'attention grabbing' age?

(2 Posts)
NewLevelsOfTiredness Wed 13-Mar-19 11:17:46

It's my 8yr old SD. That said I want to immediately state that I absolutely adore her and ask purely out of concern. Her mum knows I ask the odd question on here and is supportive of it!

She's a generally happy, cheerful girl. Very outgoing and sociable. And currently very much loving when she's the center of attention.

She has a little sister 4 (full sister by the same dad) and my partner and I have a baby on the way (week 36 so soon!)

She's been very positive about the pregnancy and in fact requested it. At the same time she's not always fond of sharing attention with her current sister. She's told me it's difficult to have experienced getting all the attention for four years and then suddenly having to share it.

There's just a couple of little things. She told me it's very difficult for her if someone gets hurt, at school for example, because she's so (uh, it's a Danish word that would translate as "full of feelings"... empathic maybe?) that she gets really upset. I gently asked her if she hurt herself but the adults were fussing over another child who was upset by the incident, how she'd feel, and she wasn't sure.

A bigger one: She has to take a nasal spray every day and wants to take it at a time where she'll be in activities a couple of evenings. She admitted to her mum yesterday that she basically like it when the activity has to 'pause' for everyone so that she can do it.

She'll state that she can't take a certain jumper off by herself and ask for help. If we point out (not as a threat, but as a logical consequence) that she can't really attend the camp she wants to in the summer if she's not ready to dress and undress herself, then she suddenly can do it.

There's a couple more little things, but I'm worried that she somehow feels left out and creates situations for attention. We do give her as much as we can (they live with us 12 days out of 14 and spend a couple of nights at their dad's every other weekend.)

We're hoping her new little sister will be something she can be actively involved in. She goes to bed an hour after her sister and we try and make her feel like it's special "big girl" time.

I feel a bit like she's torn all ways at the moment - wants to be a big girl, but is jealous of the more babyish treatment her sister gets.

She is otherwise a very lovely girl - her teachers love her, she's invited to many play dates. It just feels like a bit of a crucial stage and I really don't want us to screw it up if she's feeling neglected, especially with a new sister about to arrive.

Does this sound at all familiar to anyone? Any advice?

OP’s posts: |
JiltedJohnsJulie Wed 13-Mar-19 18:26:19

Firstly, Congratulations on the PG smile

If this is your step-daughter, I'd ask MNHQ to move your post over to the step-Parents section. You might get a few more replies smile

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