Going mad here- Does anyone else's baby just cry.. and cry.. and cry.. and cry!??! Not newborn!!

[twolittleducks]

My dd2, is coming up to 10 months, and I can honestly say she has spent 90% of the time crying!!
It's become so bad, that I have become reluctant to actually take her anywhere, which is impossible when you have a vv active 2/5 year old! It is also putting a big strain on mine and DP relationship as I am constantly exhausted..

She cries in the morning, when we are all getting dressed, she cries in her highchair, she screams in the car (I have resorted to just 'switch off mode, listen to music' as it is simply unbearable), she cries in the pram.. etc.etc.

She is currently in her walker, with a dummy firmly in her mouth, which will probably entertain her for all of 10 minutes before the crying starts again!

It's just madness and I am at my wits end! Anyone have any suggestions!?

[bellaprincess]

Oh Twolittleducks I feel for you. Its is a hard time at that age. My DD2 is now 11 months and is still a whinger.
Cries when you don't pick her up.
Cries when you pick her up.
Cries if you don't pick her up fast enough.
and all hell breaks loose if her dad doesn't pick her up within the first second of coming through the front door.

But I remember my eldest being like that. I put it down to frustation on their part. They have the crawling down to an art now and want to do the walking but carn't.

Give it time - I resort to food half the time. Rice cakes and cheerios seem to work
That and toys which are slightly out of her age range but not dangerous (IYKWIM) - I think she likes to be like her big sister.

[callmeovercautious]

Has she always been like this? or is it recent? Have you had her checked for ear infections etc?

I can't think of anything terribly helpful apart from trying to get some time for you so you are more able to cope when you are with her.

{{{{hugs}}}}

[foxinsocks]

yes, I agree, I'd take her to the GP and get her checked out just in case (I had 2 screamy babies but one of them had allergies and reflux which, when under control, meant the screaminess decreased).

I know how you feel though, it does drive you mental.

[Joppe]

Have you checked that she does not have any allergies or any other condition that make her feel uncomfortable?

Otherwise, there is a whole literature out there on 'high needs babies'. Maybe check it out? Is she soothed by physical contact? Could you just carry her around in a sling or a back carrier to be able to do other things with your other dc?

[twolittleducks]

bellaprincess, i think that is the thing for me, my first was so the opposite, we didn't even know we had her (she is making up for it now though!!) so this has come as such a suprise!!

She is crawling now, which is slightly better, but it's the simple things I get most frustrated at- like going for a wee and her not crying

Food wise- everything gives her tummy ache and mild constipation!!! EVERYTHING! It's has come to the point where she barely eats anything because it means sleepless night for her and me!

callmeover- she has pretty much always been like this, since 4 weeks old. it's come to the point now where no one will take her, because she has such a piercing cry! and she only wants me, to hold her allll the time!

i have been to doctors who tell me she is a baby and babies cry, but i can't help feel this is truely abnormal!

[twolittleducks]

She is obviously sensitive, could tell that from the off, but this is everything she cries at honestly. I have had strangers look at me shocked coz she howls, and bless her, she is a little heavy now, so slings aren't always practical.. especially for episodes of taking dd1 to the toilet!!

[twolittleducks]

joppe- never heard of that, will check it out
foxinsocks- what can you test for!? she seems to be intolerant to everything!!

[foxinsocks]

you need to go back twolittleducks - try and see a different doctor

sounds like she could have an allergy/allergies or some sort of intolerance

have you tried cutting things out of her diet for a while and seeing what happens?

perhaps you could try one at a time and see what happens (I'd start with dairy, then try wheat, citrus...that sort of thing).

[foxinsocks]

what food upsets her now?

[Joppe]

I think the tummy aches and constipation might be an indication of a food intolerance (dairy products, wheat, etc.). Have you raised this with your GP? If s/he is unsympathetic, I'd read up on this and do a food elimination diet for a few week to see if you can pinpoint the problem. You'd have to do it very carefully and very thoroughly though. If she is breastfed, you'd have to go on the same diet, as food proteins can pass into breastmilk and cause problems.

[Joppe]

Cross post. I agree with foxinsocks. There are no test for intolerances, you can only find out by eliminating the food and seeing whether it makes a difference.

Re the carrying around - she is probably old enought to be carried in a back carrier (like the ergo, mei-tai, etc.). The physical contact and movement can make a huge difference with a fussy baby.

[whywhywhy]

2littleducks ds1 was just the same.

He cried almost as much between 9-18 months (sorry don't mean to scare you!!) as he did when newborn! (after a brief slightly better interlude at 4-8 months- and I stress only slightly, he still screamed for a solid hour every night before falling asleep, etc).

I got clinically depressed and it nearly broke up my marriage.

I think he was frustrated by inability to move/get things as fast as he wanted and also by inability to talk. You may find once dd2 talks, all is better. But I should warn you, my ds1 though a total charmer (and NON STOP talker) is still a grumpy, stubborn drama queen!! His 'death scream' can still clear soft play centres.

[twolittleducks]

Yes she is breastfed, so i would have to do it too. The doctor once prescribed gaviscon, which I was very reluctant to give her as she was only 6 weeks and she seems to have slight reflux...

Have completely eliminated dairy and wheat for her, banannas were ok, now seem to be a no no, same as grapes.. Rice cakes now becoming an issue as well.. I feel so guilty, as she really loves food, is desperate, makes little clucking sounds when she sees me putting things for dd1, but it just doesnt seem worth it.

Tried giving her fish the other day, just plain cod, she wolfed it down, only to squirm all night in bed

Keep saying to myself 'in a couple of months she will grow out of it'.. we're now 8 months on, no change!!!

And I am starting to get really annoyed with people asking me what is wrong with her.. coz I really don't know!

Sorry.. rant over

[foxinsocks]

I agree with Joppe .

I'm aware some babies are just high need babies but when there are signs that they have problems with their digestive system, it really is worth ruling out problems like allergies/intolerances/other digestive issues. Perhaps it will turn out that this is just the way she is but it's worth having a go at eliminating some of the main culprits and seeing what happens.

The doctors tried to fob me off for MONTHS and eventually, it turned out that dd had an allergy to dairy, soya and egg, bad reflux and an epigastric hernia (!) and we had been told that she was perfectly fine and we just had to get used to it .

[foxinsocks]

x-posted with you there littleducks

I think, from memory, the gaviscon isn't absorbed by their bodies. It just comes out the other end eventually (someone can correct me if I'm wrong!).

We used gaviscon for a while but found it didn't help much - there are other medications which you may find do a better job (GP needs to prescribe them).

Re the squirming and screaming at night, it may be the reflux causing that as night time is a prime time for it to happen - when they are lying down. It really does hurt them - I get it as an adult and it's horribly painful, like nasty heartburn.

Try not to feed her too near bed time - have you tried propping her up a bit?

[foxinsocks]

it may be the reflux rather than the actual food that is causing problems if it seems to happen with all food

[Joppe]

Maybe do it one by one? If fish fingers are causing problems it might be gluten (in the bread crumbs). I think rice has gluten as well?

If you eliminate dairy products, you need to check the ingredients of processed food - casein, whey, etc. all indicated milk proteins.

If food is really causing her that much distress, I'd insist on a referral to paediatric gastroenterologist.

I saw 4-5 different people in A&E, a paediatrician, and my GP multiple times before I finally got a referral to a paediatric gastroenterologist who in two minuted diagnosed dd (correctly) with a milk protein intolerance.

[JingleBelle]

2littleducks,
I would definitely try elimination diet on your little one, as tummy ache and constipation are classic signs. It could simply be dairy, so you could try switching her formula to soy if ff, or cut out dairy yourself if bf. Bear in mind that soya is quite allergenic too, so this may not help. Also, you should allow at least a week of eliminating a food to see a difference given the length of time she will have been consuming these foodstuffs. Dr Sears website has lots of info on intolerances/allergies.
Definitely recommend getting a second opinion.
One other thing to try is cranial osteopathy. It may be that she got misaligned during birth or some other event and if you imagine what it is like when you get a crick in your neck for example and having that ongoing, it could cause you to be grumpy! It's not cheap and you may need to go a few times before it resolves anything but sometimes a first visit can show a good improvement. If you're in Berkshire I can recommmend one, but you should just be able to look up in Yellow pages. Lots of people swear by it!
I hope that's helpful - my DS cried a lot as a baby, but because of reflux and allergies - he's much better now. We also took him to Cranial osteopath before reflux was diagnosed and that did help too.
Good luck - it will get better!

[twolittleducks]

I did question hernia originally, i remember her belly button didn't heal up until 2 months+, when she stretched up you could still see it open, but apparently this would have nothing to do with it and it is quite common!

I try not to feed her to sleep, as she is incredibly windy also. Literally can go to bed, and three hours or so after being fed, wake up with wind.

She is the sweetest little thing, but it's coming to the point where it's jsut becoming all consuming. Am going on holiday in two weeks as well, so can't anticipate how stressful that will be with her!

Like whywhy said, I think she is frustrated at not walking, but surely it can't just be that!

[foxinsocks]

go and see a different doctor - and if you can, take dh/dp with you. I find (for some reason grr) that if you present a united front, then they tend to take you more seriously.

If you have some of that gaviscon left, have you considered trying it again?

[Millarkie]

My ds was like this - he had undiagnosed reflux. Def. take her to the GP and get her checked out just in case. (GP not health visitor - I tried with HV for ages and just got 'well babies do cry' )

[twolittleducks]

Am really relecutant to use Gaviscon, it is so thick and gooey and of the gagging variety for little one!

jinglebelle- did try cranial oseteopathy, didn't really seem that helpful, not sure she would sit still now either !!

I am crap with doctors, I have told them time and time again only to be fobbed off.
Joppe, do you have to go through referral to see a paediatric gastroenterologist???

Right.. starting from today i will try food eliminating, just desperate for anything to work!

[bellaprincess]

Although your DD sounds similar to my little one I do agree with the others. The constipation and wind at night would get me down to the doctors. Camp there if need be until they do something. Your DD cries should spur them into action
Hope you get the help you need.

[foxinsocks]

there are other medications they can give her for the reflux - just go in, matter of fact and say that you were given the gaviscon but that it doesn't agree with her (it's quite common for that to happen) and you'd like to try something else. There are lots of things they can do for her.

I know how you feel, it is SOUL DESTROYING having to go in and fight but it will be worth it!

[Joppe]

Someone at A&E organised the referral for me. Dd had different symptoms though(nappies full of blood when she was only a few months old. She once had the nappy off when I saw a huge amount of blood come out - it was awful). It is normally GPs who organise referrals, isn't it?