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11 Year Old Sons Behaviour - Dont know where to turn!

(8 Posts)
Brightside321 Fri 15-Feb-19 12:00:09

Our 11 yr old son has always had problems managing friendships. In primary school he was always in trouble for being disruptive. I always believed he was ADHD but the teachers said "do we want him to be on medication?" so nothing was done. He has now gone on to senior school (he is actually very clever and passed his 11+ and is in grammar school) but his behaviour is getting worse. He wont go to sleep at night, rolls around and makes noises, getting many "strikes" at school each week for disrespectful behaviour/disruptive behaviour. He is argumentative at home and will not do as he is told. On a good day he can be the sweetest boy. The school have now setup a CAF meeting next week but we are still at our wits end. I dread going home after work and dread evenings when it is sleep time. He has recently started scratching his arms against the bottom of the bed because he likes how it feels. His diet is terrible but cannot get him to try anything. We have taken away his gadgets for whole weekends but still no improvement. We constantly feel sick with worry at where this is going to end.

AladdinMum Fri 15-Feb-19 15:14:01

urm.... this a difficult one because of his age. Have you tried going to your GP? getting referred to a development paediatrician or psychologist could get to the bottom of it. You mentioned ADHD, but from some of the actions you mention (specially the poor diet - could be sensory, behaviour, and scratching his arms - sensory issue) it sounds more like autism than ADHD, but it could be something completely different, it is worth discussing with your GP.

Lara53 Fri 15-Feb-19 19:33:39

Definitelty worth seeking further support/ diagnosis if things are unravelling at home and school.

JiltedJohnsJulie Sat 16-Feb-19 06:57:26

Another one here suggesting you go to the GP and ask for a referral OP thanks

Brightside321 Tue 26-Feb-19 09:45:51

Thanks all. We had a meeting with a clinical psychologist last week who said he was definitely somewhere on the autistic spectrum and would need a Autistic Spectrum Disorder Assessment - the waiting list being 2 years. How helpful is that! Meanwhile he continues to cause havoc wherever he is. I have Vitality Insurance through work and surprise surprise they don't cover behavioural issues/assessments.

JiltedJohnsJulie Tue 26-Feb-19 17:19:41

Two years is along time to wait you're right. I'd head on over to the SN Chat board if you can. There's some experienced and lovely MNers who can talk you through the assessment process thanks

BarbarianMum Wed 27-Feb-19 18:41:29

In your position I would start reading up about autism now. Talk to the school also, see what support they can offer. They dont actuslly need a diagnosis to intervene, just an idea of what might help.

Teachdeanta Thu 28-Feb-19 23:52:59

Can you get a private assessment? If you can afford one it may be worth considering.

Read up as much as possible on autism. He may need breaks in school to help him cope better. His behaviour in school may be because he is being overwhelmed. Maybe ask the school what behaviour strategies they use to help students with ASD.

Melatonin could be an option to help him sleep. You could ask your gp about using melatonin.

His behaviour while it may seem bad or disrespectful could be down to his inability to cope with his environment.

I hope you get the help you need to help your son thrive.

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