18 month old behaviour... normal?

[Bee199]

Hey all!
My DD is 18 months old and seems to be really grabby/pushy/bitey with other little ones :( is this a normal sort of behaviour? We was at a friends today and her little one is 2 months younger, she pushed her, pulled her hair, grabbed her feet and looked as though she was pinching them and at one point she pushed her head against the other little ones head! I’ve no idea where all this behaviour comes from, she’s never seen it from her dad or me, CBeebies certainly wouldn’t have anything like that on! I feel so bad and I always feel like I’m apologising to other parents for her quite frankly, feral behaviour haha. Any advice would be appreciated xx

[lovely36]

I also have an 18 month old but he doesn't do any of that. Maybe because he's around kids a lot? All our neighbors kids play together almost everyday and have been since they were crawling. So maybe that's why. Does your dd get much interaction with other children? Does she do it at home?

[Bee199]

She has multiple groups during the week so she is also around other children of varying ages. She bites when she’s frustrated or just to see if it gets a reaction (you can obviously tell which one is which haha) and she’s tried pinching but again, just for a reaction and it’s not very often. It’s so hard to see, especially when I don’t see other kids behaving like it ☹️

[lovely36]

My ds tried slapping me and biting me about twice! Once he slapped me and I had to be as casual as I could and I said "ouch that hurt. Please don't do that." I think he wanted a reaction out of me but I refused to give it to him. He didn't do it again. Then he bit me while I got him out the bath. This time it hurt! So I said "ouch!" Really loud. He started laughing and did it again. I had to keep my cool and again act causal and said. "Don't do that it hurts." I guess since he didn't get the reaction he hasn't done it. I'm scared of him doing it to kids and getting a reaction because I know he'll start to do it then. Luckily he hasn't tried. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. He's really good with other kids for now. Can't speak too soon because kids are so unpredictable though!

[amelie427]

Totally normal at this age, often due to frustration with expressing themselves.

My DS went through a hitting phase from maybe 17-20months, it felt awful at the time but he got through it. He certainly didn't learn it from anywhere, it's innate behaviour.

We did a lot of "gentle kind hands", i.e. showing him what 'gentle' is by softly stroking his teddies etc. And reminded him of this when he started to get rough. He caught on.

I wouldn't tell him off, I'd just gently remove him from the situation and have a little chat about why he felt frustrated (I.e. "you felt annoyed because you wanted that toy" - this can help identify emotions). He'll soon be through it and onto the next challenging phase

[amelie427]

Sorry, I did mean to say "her", was just thinking about my own child

[BeeMyBaby]

Yes completely normal. My SIL accused my son of bullying my niece when he was this age (she is 9 months younger), he was jealous of her toys and didn't want to share (even though it was her home). It took a few months for him to chill out but then they were able to play well together.

[Bee199]

Ahhh thank you everyone 😊 she is unbelievably gentle with animals, just not humans 😂 I’m glad it’s not just mine, sometimes it feels a bit like that doesn’t it? Hopefully this will pass soon. It must be so frustrating not being able to tell anyone how you feel or what you want etc ☹️ Thankyou again though, that was really helpful xx

[lovely36]

You might find this video helpful