7 year old and distressing tantrums

[alphasox]

My 7 year old DS is mostly a wonderful loving and funny little soul but he gets very angry very easily. We are trying and have tried all sorts of things to help him and actually it’s pretty well controlled (if he’s well fed, rested, had exercise, no screen time etc). When things don’t go his way though his tantrums are epic, like smashing through doors, biting and hitting and kicking (me mostly) epic, and he seems to get so angry he can’t see sense in the moment. The thing that distresses me most is that after the anger he then gets unspeakably dramatically upset and sobs and sobs how much he hates his life and he wants to die. He wants to die. That bit rips me apart. I don’t know what to do to help him. I just respond with love and cuddles (if he’ll let me). It cuts a particularly raw nerve because my brother killed himself age 29 after 10 years of mental illness.
Last year I found a children’s play therapist and my son saw her for 10 sessions. He got bored and said he didn’t like going to see her. Her report was crap, that he was fine, didn’t need therapy, he’s very happy, needed to play in the mud more 🙄. Of course she never saw him having a tantrum. On every other day he is normal and polite and fun and caring, so she saw that.
I don’t know what else to do for him.
By the by he’s also being assessed at school for struggling with concentration and processing issues but I’m not sure if that’s related. Any ideas at all would be so helpful.

[sleepismysuperpower1]

I'm so sorry, this must be really hard OP . i haven't been through this myself, but you could try contacting here and seeing if they have an appointment. it might be worth chatting to one of the Child Psychiatrists there to see if they can see anything the play therapist couldn't. you could explain about the tantrums, and how he acts around other people etc.

all the best xx

[alphasox]

Thank you for replying and the link @sleepismysuperpower1
I’ll look into that and ring them x

[sleepismysuperpower1]

good luck, i hope they help x

[Allusernamestakenbutthis]

Before contacting a psychiatrist I suggest you have him checked for sensory issues. My son did not have tantrums like yours so I may be off mark but he had difficulties at school and mini meltdowns and it turned out his vision was an issue. Any chance you are near Devon?

Any chance he is being bullied? My son was and we didn't find out until after the clinical psychologist finished her assessment.