Stepdaughter incapable of doing anything

(6 Posts)
Rainbowknickers Sun 03-Feb-19 20:56:27

Its a long story but my 16 y/o sd has moved in with us and I can't get my head round how little stuff she can do-she can't do basics like boil a kettle or cook toast etc well tonight she had a shower and when I popped into the bathroom for a pee I ended up slipping on the amount of water on the floor-i think I've broken two toes I'm sat in agony while dp (her dad) runs round mopping up after her while she stays in her room ignoring us if I try to tell him she needs to do more I get 'I know she does' but then doesn't carry through with it her mother is not in her life anymore but this is driving me mad I have other kids (mine) and even my 11 year old can mop up after herself its creating double standards

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Lara53 Mon 04-Feb-19 16:24:38

Her Dad has to step up and get her to do things and back you up when you ask her to do things. Can you link pocket money/ allowance to chores?

I don’t believe for one minute she can’t boil a kettle!!!

Rainbowknickers Mon 04-Feb-19 22:06:52

Its a long story involving both parents not allowing her to do basic stuff. So I swear she's never even picked one up let alone boiled it. I am trying to get her dad to 'let go' and allow her to do stuff but he won't let go-and all I get from her is 'I'm lazy-i can't be bothered'

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TigerQuoll Tue 05-Feb-19 01:32:01

Communication is key. Write down your wished-for result and work out what baby steps will need to happen on the way and an estimated time frame. Talk to your husband and get him on board. Then have a family meeting and discuss it with the daughter present. Make agreements.

lovely36 Tue 05-Feb-19 13:14:23

Oh lord. She needs to grow up. I know teenagers like that. I've had to peel an apple for a 15 year the other day!!! I couldn't believe it. Same she can't use a toaster. By 16 I had school and a job afterwards. Had my drivers license, paid my own car insurance and managed my own bank account.(not in England) you have to remember she is not to blame. This is her moms fault for not preparing her and allowing her to do anything for herself. It's very sad. Possibly try asking her nicely to clean up after herself? Also your dh will probably feel defensive so maybe approach the topic gently?

Rainbowknickers Tue 05-Feb-19 20:37:40

Thank you for being so nice-im asked dp and he's keen to put stuff in place like putting a written agreement in place and she seems happy with this we had a breakthrough today-she caught the train to school rather than dad or I taking her I'm happy to show her how to do stuff-after all I taught my own to thank you hopefully it'll work xxx

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