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My child is very jealous- what do I do.(5 Posts)
Only child- 7 years old. Only grandchild too. Loved and in a happy, comfortable home.
Spends a lot of time worrying about what others have and what she doesn't have.
Cant express happiness for others e.g when classmate gets 'star of the week'
Goes on and on and on about other children's and 'x has a phone' and 'x parents let them have this and that' and I don't. Not spoiled per se, but definitely says 'it's so unfair' over tiny things. Constantly comparing herself with others. For example she has beautiful curly hair. But is completely jealous of her friends straight hair.
It's to the point that I am very sad for her, and have told her it's no good thinking about other people so much? She must learn to love herself. And that she is very lucky to live in a nice house and have a nice life.
What can I do? It's making me sad worrying about how he might be as a teen.
1. Generosity is only possible from a feeling of sufficiency. Emotional generosity depends on self-worth and confidence. How is hers? If she's a bit low in self-acceptance, can you figure out why and help her build on it? E.g. 1-to-1 time, doing what she's interested in, led by her; taking a genuine interest in her thoughts and opinions. Not suggesting you don't do these things - just the stuff I can think of.
2. Maybe worth consciously modelling the behaviour you want to see? E.g. expressing happiness for your friends when something good happens for them (out loud, to her); also express hopes that things will go well for them; if someone does something kind (even just stopping to let you cross the road) comment on it. Be wary to express these positive things about your friends not hers, so that she isn't threatened by it.
You've had some great advice from Strawberry already, I just wondered if she might like this book too?
My dd is 15 and still does the curly/straight hair thing. She has straight hair that doesn't even need to be straightened and is often wishing that her hair is curly. I've often told her that her friends who have to straighten their hair daily will be very jealous of her naturally straight hair but does she listen? 😂 It's definitely human nature to wonder what your life would be like if you were like your friends. My dd is 5 foot 8 and often wonders what life would be like if she were 5 foot 2 like her best friend. I remind her that her friend probably wonders the exact same thing in reverse and leave it at that.
Strawberry that's wonderful advice. I had not considered that it might come from a place of insecurity.
She's outwardly confident and happy- this has always been a sticking point for me. She has everything she seems to need.
I will start to praise my friends in front of her. I will try to get some one on one time to chat about her interests and get her opinion on things. And I will look at that book.
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