Fly phobic ds(9 Posts)
Looking for advice on my nearly 4 yo ds please. He has a real problem with anything small and buzzy atm and even the smallest fly will set him off into floods of tears. I've posted a bit beofre about him and having done a bit of reading he does seem very "HSC" (highly sensitive child) in a lot of ways.
We have talked to him about how flies won't hurt him (unlike the potential for stings from bees etc) but dh and I are feeling frustrated as to how to help him overcome this (school in Sept and I pity the poor teacher who has a fly in her room with him!) I'm not terribly fond of bees etc myself, but have put on a brave face and even watched them collecting pollen etc with him and chattred about that.
Please, anyone with similar? We haven't even had waht feels like a proper summer yet and I can only see him getting worse as the weather gets warmer
No advice but sympathy for you. I don't have a child with the phobia but had it myself! It's completely irrational, all I can tell you is that I 'knew' I shouldn't be scared but couldn't help it. I don't know how I got over it but as an adult now I only go really loopy over wasps - it's just faded as I've got older I think.
If it was my son I would just continue the cuddles and reasurance but don't try too hard to explain why he shouldn't be afraid - that may make him feel silly and ashamed of his fear and therefore even less able to deal with it. I hope he grows out of it like i did.
DS is the same !!!
He was like it last summer too.
The summer before that it was washing blowing in the wind that gave him the heebie-jeebies .
We have just persevered in going in the garden. I talk to the fly concerned in a very chirpy manner - "Hello ther Mr Fly !! How are you today ?" - that sort of thing.
Keep telling him that the fly doesn't want to hurt him. Each time he sees one he will hear you say this and the fly won't hurt him, so hopefully he will start to believe you.
DS is fine with them now, unless they are really big and make a loud buzzy noise. Still freak him out a little.
Thanks both of you for your messages Sometimes it is just the reassurance that ds isn't a complete fruitcake that helps!
Teafortwo - yes will carry on with cuddles. Agree about not wanting him to feel silly/ashamed. On the other hand I don't want to go completely ott with sympathy for him, as it shouldn't be such an issue, and I don't want to give too much attention for a behaviour I don't want to continue if that makes sense?
Thodoresmummy, love the sound of your ds - how old is he? Will work on the being friendly to the neighbourhood fly population thing - made me smile. I wouldn't mind so much if it was just the big buzzy flies (and can more understand bees and wasps for that mater) but some of the flies are tiny!
my dd2 is scared of just about everything - flies being one of the things that sends her into hysterics!
We got some advice a week or so ago (we are still trying it out and it's too early to say whether it works or not, but fwiw...)
Let them know that it is OK to be scared, being scared and frightened is perfectly normal and actually, you are a bit scared of them yourself. Let him see that you are scared of the fly, but let him also see how you deal with being frightened, and let him see that whilst the fly was a bit icky, nothing too bad happened when mummy touched it (or went near it, or whatever).
It does make sense that it would work, and we are trying it with dd2
Some other advice I had specific to flies was to tell her that they are baby fairies - didn't work for her, but might for yours.
Thanks Squonk, just don't make me touch a fly, ick Your advice too is very sensible and follows along the same lines as my hv gave me a while back in dealing with situations he finds hard - acknowledge, empathise, but at the same time don't avoid.
Think it doesn't help that one set of grandparents is completely soft with ds and their reaction to his howling is lots of cuddles and removal from the situation....fair enough if it was actually something to be scared of! Grrrrr
Baby faries....hmmmmm, really sweet imo but not too sure what dp would say Thanks though.
ETsmum when we went to Australia ds was petrified at the amount of insects and massive flies. He would run away and cry at the sight of them. By the end of the 3 week holiday he was fine. We made a game out of it by singing 'shoo fly dont bother me' and waved our arms around. I think it worked because the fly would buzz off.
He wasnt yet 2 though, so alot younger, so not sure if any help really!
MarshaBrady - might try the singing He loves the song we do for teeth brushing so it might tickle his fancy and take his mind off it......def worth a go. Now let's see how daft I feel at the park tomorrow!
ds is a lot younger than yours (2) but on holiday he started off being scared of flies so we made a bit of a game of him having to tell the flies off for being naughty and coming near his food. It worked well and now he starts telling htem off whenever he sees them!
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