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Dummy dilemma- 3 months

(9 Posts)
surreygirl1987 Wed 09-Jan-19 14:47:32

Need some advice please. First time mum here with a very high maintenance lively but lovely baby boy. He is 3 months old. He sleeps brilliantly at night, self settling and with generally just one night wake/feed, bit is an appalling napper! He usually cries when I put him in his crib at nap time, and though he has self settled a few times (I don't leave him to cry, I mean on occasion he doesn't cry and then might self-settle- rare though!) So I give him a dummy to calm him, while shushing and patting. Then, when his eyes are just closing, I take the dummy out and he will usually drop off and sleep for 45 mins before he wakes (often crying). When awake he's generally happy enough but gets a bit grizzly out in public, especially at baby classes or when I take him to my mother baby exercise classes. I use a dummy there too if he's grizzly and thst cheers him up. Sometimes in the car too, as he often cries in the car if it's stop start. I think he'd be a model baby in fact if I let him have one all the time! But I'm scared he'll become addicted so I don't let him...
I have read advice thst says they should stop using the dummy by 3 months otherwise it's hard to wean them off it. Other advice I've read says use it as it's a useful tool. I've also read it stops them sucking their thumb. Now, he has NEVER had a dummy in while he has slept and I'm not keen to start that. But is it okay to keep giving him a dummy in the same way as I am now? Should I be letting him use it more (my NCT friends' babies have dummies in ALL THE TIME - I don't think I've ever seen them without! And they NEVER cry, and nap really easily!!) Or should I wean him off it now? I don't know what to do! Some advice would be wonderful xx thanks xx

OP’s posts: |
dementedpixie Wed 09-Jan-19 16:26:45

Nhs dummy advice:

Breastfeeding your baby reduces the risk of SIDS.

It's possible using a dummy at the start of a sleep also reduces the risk of SIDS. But the evidence isn't strong and not all experts agree that dummies should be promoted.

If you do use a dummy, don't start until breastfeeding is well established. This isusually when they're around 1 month old.

Stop giving them the dummy when they're between 6 and 12 months old.

dementedpixie Wed 09-Jan-19 16:30:30

surreygirl1987 Wed 09-Jan-19 17:11:39

Thanks, yes I read that but when I looked it up in academic journals it seems to be quite a contested topic so I'm not going to base my decision on that. Thankyou though.

I don't want to give him a dummy at night because he's a beautiful night sleeper and self settles easily. I don't want to mess that up, and also I don't want him to wake (and wake me up!) every tine it falls out.

I guess my real question is, would it be possible to give him a dummy solely for daytime naps, or would this lead to him wanting it at night too?

OP’s posts: |
MumUnderTheMoon Wed 09-Jan-19 21:07:41

Chill out people have been using dummies for years it's not that big an issue at 3 months no one will bat an eyelid. Just give him the dummy, at three months he wants he wants very little which includes his dummy. It's relatively easy to get them off their dummy at about age two. Once he starts getting more interested in other things like toys or finger foods stop giving it out of the house or during the day. Make him take it out when he is speaking (when the time comes). Honestly just let yourself off the hook with this one.

surreygirl1987 Wed 09-Jan-19 21:29:09

Thanks- it's not that I think anyone will 'bat an eyelid' , it's that I'm concerned it might impact his nightime sleep, which is currently wonderful (He did 7pm til 6:50am day before yesterday!) - so if he starts wanting it at night too I'm scared he'll regress.

OP’s posts: |
GirlGang89 Fri 11-Jan-19 23:08:39

I honestly used to be very anti dummies. With DD1 I too used to slip the dummy out before she was asleep to avoid her getting too ‘attached’ and only used it for naps and car journeys... I did this until she was 18 months and was only planning 6. At 18months I just said it was gone, none left! I had a couple of grisley moments but she accepted it and all was fine!! Her reaction to that made it worth while! Honestly, if it’s giving baby some comfort and you some peace and less stressed just let the baby have it. My DD2 now has it same reasons my DD1 had it but I do also let her have it if she’s having a tough day teething or particularly upset... a couple of potential rough days/nights in the future is worth a baby being settled and comforted in my opinion!!
Also, my friend DS has a dummy in constantly until he was 3! One day at the zoo he dropped it and she kicked it into a bush and she told him that the baby monkeys needed it now and he accepted it and never asked for it again!! And he had it in 24/7!!
Please try not to sweat the small stuff, your baby being content and you being happy and calm is the main thing smile xxx

surreygirl1987 Sat 12-Jan-19 11:28:47

Brill, thanks so much! Can I also ask you, did your DD sleep more than one sleep cycle for naps, even though she settled with the dummy?

OP’s posts: |
GirlGang89 Sun 13-Jan-19 21:40:42

I’m not sure what you mean by sleep cycle? By 9 months she would have 1 hour in the morning and 2-3 in the afternoon and that was sometimes with/sometimes without the dummy staying in. If she stirred she did seem to self settle herself but once she was awake you could never get back to sleep for naps, dummy or no dummy. Never successfully transferred from car or anything hmm xx

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