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DS cannot sleep on his own anymore at night. Hysterical crying.

(10 Posts)
bunsen Thu 28-Jun-07 20:41:09

Pleeassse help!
DS is 7 months and is rolling around, waking up every farts end right through the night, very hard to get to sleep on a night, if I leave him whilst he is awake, he will become hysterical. I tried the controlled crying tonight, went down like a proverbial shit storm. It took me ages to get him to calm down, not picking him up or rocking would sooth him.
I must admit, me n dp have made a rod for our backs tthe past month and have started to give in a lot, taking him back into the living room on a night if he is waking up a lot in the evening. I have returned to work (for 2.5 days) and partner looks after him, but we don't get a lot of time together, so we have slackened off a bit with the routine. DS will wake up just at the motion of being put down even after getting him to sleep.
Any answers will be greatly recieved,

bunsen Thu 28-Jun-07 20:43:47

Better just add, I have got him back on track with the bedtime routine, it just doesn't matter to DS that it is now bedtime! Like he cares!

cane Thu 28-Jun-07 20:52:04

teething? Once when dd1 did exactly this we found one week of medised half an hour before bedtime (recommeded by the pharmacist) got her back on track pretty quick. I think sometime they just change when they are growing or have learnt a new trick or getting teeth...

mummymagic Thu 28-Jun-07 20:57:55

Well, here's my tuppence worth.

For me, I always go in stages after a while of 'oh, just do what you like' bedtime parentng .

So I might say that my aim is to get her sleeping in her cot straight after bedtime and I will then stay in there even if it takes half the night but won't necessarily kill myself to do it all night.

I think it all goes in phases so try not to beat yourself up over taking the easier option - even the strictest routine parents I know have nights like you describe. You can ether go with it or see what it is that needs changing. Is it that he doesn't like his cot? Maybe do lots of playing in the cot during the day, peekaboo games, getting used to being alone and happy in the cot... He probably needs confidence that he can go to sleep without you. Maybe keep a hand in his cot while he goes to sleep and gradually (over a few nights) withdraw. I make sure she sees me leave and say 'night night' so she doesn't panic when she wakes up (hmmm... this only works when she is really sleepy and I think from about 10 mths)

This staged, gradual technique is probably harder work than cc (although personally I cant do cc so its easier for me) but my lo is def happier and sleeps better (although not brilliantly I'll admit).

Don't know if that will help, just wanted to say 'hey, I've been (am being lots) there. Although she is (cross fingers) sleeping ok right now... eek better not jinx it.

bunsen Thu 28-Jun-07 21:09:36

LOL mummy magic, thanks, felt bad for giving in tonight, felt bad for making him the most upset he has been in his entire life!

claraq Thu 28-Jun-07 21:09:39

You have not said how long this has been going on for.I agree it could be teething if it has only been a week or so. However if longer it could be something which has developed into a habit.
I am a great believer in the phrase "It's only a phase" because it usually is. My DD has been through many phases like this although now she is 21 months she almost always sleeps really well. But recently we went through a phase where she screamed the house down when we put her to bed and then woke at 5am. We rode with it and lo and behold two teeth have just popped out and now she is sleeping fine again.
I agree with trying a bit of medised and see if that helps. If you don't think this is the problem you may have to grit your teeth and try controlled crying if you can bear it. In the end as long as the child is not unwell it does usually work...IME that is!

Elibean Thu 28-Jun-07 21:28:25

My dd is the same age, and has just hit the separation anxiety phase - along with teething - and gone from being the easiest baby to put down at night to one who fights to stay awake and get picked up, preferably by me. dd1 went through it too - I wouldn't personally do CC with a child this age, I would reassure them and trust that it will pass: it will, honest, even if it feels like a million light years at the time it honestly won't be

That said, I won't carry dd2 around endlessly (can't, bad back) or bring her into bed with me at the drop of a hat: I'll pick her up, soothe her, put her down again. Repeat as necessary. And hang in there till it passes. The only thing I'd add is do, do, do try and put him down whilst still awake - even if its just slightly awake. Or he'll wake up and be pissed off that he's not where he thought he was, IYSWIM.

As for bad habits, I do'nt worry about those any more either - when dd is ill (she has a streaming cold right now) or teething, I comfort her, and to hell with habits. They can be sorted out as soon as she's better, each time!

bunsen Thu 28-Jun-07 23:14:59

Thats what I thought a month ago when I started becoming less concerned with doing things the right way, I thought it would be a phase and better to give him what he wants than to fight against it, but he has been, for the last week, waking up through the night. I am going to move out of his room and back into my own bedroom (I know this probably has a lot to do with him waking in the night) I just couldn't face going into his room every farts end to put the dummy back in when I have to get up for work at 6!
Hope it is just a phase, Elibean, I did wonder whether it is anxiety separation, thats another reason why I didn't want to move out of his room. Its not too soon for anxiety sep yet is it?

Elibean Fri 29-Jun-07 08:20:15

Aha.....dummy? Now I'm remembering dd1, who slept beautifully till about six months when she started waking up at night because she wanted her dummy put back in. Nightmare. On advice from the HV, we went cold turkey - I did pick up/put down every time she cried for it, until she learnt to settle without it (cc not for me, until much later). Within 3 nights she was sleeping through again, till the teething started.

I do remember also being told that habits only really start 'forming' when they get to around six months...anything you do 3 times or more is in danger of becoming one. My bottom line is I won't do any sort of sleep training with a sick, teething, or anxious baby - and when I do, I do the gentlest sort - but if he's ok in himself during the day, I would, personally, bite the bullet for a few nights and take the dummy away - and move out of his room. If he's really unsettled, maybe do one of those at a time with a gap inbetween, but aim for both.

That said, its sooo impossible to know what someone else's LO really needs - not having met him! I feel for you, too, its horrible having to sacrifice any amount of sleep at this stage in order to sort out problems in the long term - excruciating. Worth it though, IME. Good luck, hope you and your ds are enjoying unbroken sleep soon

bunsen Fri 29-Jun-07 08:37:33

Elibean, moved out of the room back into mine last night and I think he slept through, I didn't hear otherwise anyway!
Thanks for your advise, I think I will leave the controlled crying till later, like you said.
Thanks all, will try a new strategy tonight!

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