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Behaviour/development

11 year old still doesn't play with construction toys spontaneously

8 replies

coolcazzieuk · 05/01/2019 18:05

Hi,

Over the years relatives and godparents have bought our son any number of lego sets, KNex kits and metal Meccano trucks, animals, cranes, wooden models such as dinosaurs, dragons etc. If I sit down with him and encourage him, he will fairly grudgingly treat it as "work" and do a bit, but he is not absorbed, and if I get up he will lose interest. He does not get absorbed. (This is not a criticism).

But still the toys come. For Christmas he just got a Lego technik boat from a relative.

We jokingly think of these items as rods for our own backs.

He is more of an action oriented person. He wants to be running, exploring, climbing, shooting NERF guns, playing football.

Shall I give up on the construction toys? Shall I tell the relations / Godparents? (Bear in mind they still think the toys have been received with gratitude over the years).

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goldengummybear · 05/01/2019 19:09

Loosen up! Construction toys aren't obligatory like learning to walk. Some kids like them, some kids don't and that's fine. I wouldn't give a shit if my child preferred a Nerf gun or other toy to Lego. Do him a favour and buy him stuff he'll like.

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coolcazzieuk · 05/01/2019 19:34

Thank you for your comment, it is reassuring. We do buy stuff he likes - he has an armoury of NERF guns, and he likes Fortnite ;-) It is the piles of construction toys from well meaning relatives that are the issue. Every few months we half heartedly get one out and do a bit but it gives no pleasure. Perhaps it is time to put them all up in the loft.

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goldengummybear · 05/01/2019 20:16

Can't you tell your relatives that he's not into Lego?
I would sell or donate toys that I didn't need. Forcing him to build them is unfair

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magicroundabouts · 05/01/2019 21:59

Similar has happened here! DS1, who was given a number of Lego sets for Christmas , told me last week that he doesn’t really like Lego anymore. They are all in the spare room at the moment and I will probably sell them at some point.

I have noticed though that for DS1 it is not that he doesn’t like Lego, he still builds occasionally, but he wants to do his own thing. He has zero interest in following instructions to build a set, so the lego we already have is plenty. Maybe you could say something like that to your relatives?

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Redcrayonisthebest · 05/01/2019 22:24

Why would you put it in the loft op? That's a bit selfish!! Why not give it away to somebody who will appreciate it? Stop forcing your ds to "play" in a way that he doesn't enjoy, he's old enough to know what he likes. Just tell the relatives that he's grown out of that sort of stuff now so you've had a big clear out.

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coolcazzieuk · 06/01/2019 08:01

I am a bit of a hoarder and hate to clear old things out. But you're right. Shame Christmas is past as I'd love to have given them to kids who don't get toys for Christmas as many are unopened. I'll see if I can find a local toy bank, not sure if there is one locally as we live in a small rural town, but I'll do some research.

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Lara53 · 06/01/2019 19:03

Explain to relatives etc that he has now outgrown Lego and would prefer either x,y,z a gift token for x shop or set up an Amazon wish list/ get DS to write one and give to relatives or get DS to speak to the relatives about what he’d like.

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lovely36 · 07/01/2019 13:33

He's 11. At this age he's older, he wants to run and play out. Those type of toys are more appealing to a 6,7,8 year old.

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