SON COMING DOWNSTAIRS

[naughtystep]

Does anyone have any suggestions re my DS (3) constantly coming downstairs after being put to bed at 7pm?

When he first got his own bed he stayed in it. He has recently started coming downstairs for any reason he can think of Done a poo, Done a wee(just about to discard night time nappy!), Need socks on, Need a drink, Broken my toy etc. etc. last night he said he had done a poo and when I took his nappy off, nothing - he then just laughed! It is driving me BONKERS!!

Have tried smiley face chart, threatening with putting him back in cot, just taking him straight back to bed without talking, reasoning and finally, shouting but he still pokes his head round the door with a big smug grin.

To top it off, he has also started waking earlier between 5.15-6.30 which I find really hard to cope with being a slut mummy and staying up until 11.45pm (I know, I know!) He usually climbs into bed with us and starts shoving me in the back trying to push me out of bed shouting - wake up mummy, wake up mummy until I just give in and sleepwalk downstairs to get milk. He loves his daddy but will not tolerate him in the morning, only wants me.

To add to the mix, DH calls me a moody @~##% because I AM a TAD moody! Is it unreasonable to have a little swear as I am getting DS milk? (out of DS earshot of course!)

Any advice gratefully received! TIA.

[brimfull]

I threaten to close his bedroom door if he gets out of bed.That is terrifying to ds so usually works.A realistic threat ,like taking toy away or something immediate may work.
GOd I sound mean.

[Bibis]

Can you put a stair gate on his door? It worked with us.

[belgo]

Perseverence, with one method. Keep on putting him back into his own room, don't say anything, and hold the door closed. That's what I did, took ages, but it worked eventually.

[slayerette]

I can sympathise with the early waking but can't suggest much there, I'm afraid - ds still wakes up 5.30-6 am at age 4 - we have tried putting him to bed later and it makes no difference (except he's really cranky the next day). He's v good at night though and usually goes straight off. First of all, don't let him sleep at all during the day (even 5 mins in the car), and make sure he's getting enough exercise during the day (sounds mad, I know, but kids need about an hour - more than most dogs!). If he goes to nursery/pre-school, that gives them lots of stimulation during the day and should tire him out a bit. Do you have a bedtime routine - bath and stories - so he knows exactly what to expect and when? Then I was always impressed with Supernanny's stay in bed technique, which is what you said about returning him to bed without talking to him - but you have to be really patient and be prepared to do it thirty or forty times an evening if necessary. Apparently, as long as you stick to your guns with it and never change what you do (so don't give in or try a different technique half way through the evening), they get the message after a couple of nights.

HTH - I'm sure you're doing some of these things anyway - don't want to sound like I think I know it all but do feel for you! Am so grateful that I've been lucky with ds at bedtime!

[slayerette]

PS - not remotely wrong to have quiet little swear about having to get up at daft o'clock!

[WaynettaSlob]

Our DS1 was also doing this, and we found that putting him to bed a little bit latrer (7.15/7.30) actually seems to have worked.
It's a PITA initially because sometimes you're just yearning for them to go to bed, but in the grand scheme of things, better to have an extra (peaceful) 20 mins downstairs, than 20-30 mins of fighting.

[naughtystep]

Thanks everyone!

Yes, good suggestion about a stairgate, thanks. Will try that.

He is usually having a half hour (at least) nap in the car each day and I think that keeps him going in the evening. It's just so HARD to keep him awake in the car-even if I sing Bob the Builder at the top of my voice.

He does go to Nursery 1/2 days a week but even though he is shattered they still have an hour long sleep so that again, keeps him going.

He is just SO tired the next day all he does is whinge and whine until I want to explode. So having him all day and then playing up until 9.30pm some nights is not a good combination!

BTW, ashamed to say, was not a quiet little swear but very loud dramatic shouty swear with lots of drawer slamming!

[slayerette]

I sympathise about the sleeping in the car - it's impossible to stop them if you're on your own with them, and once ds has had FIVE minutes, he's up til 9 pm that night. Absolutely guaranteed.

[naughtystep]

Wish I could have a nap in car!