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Feel the first 5 yrs were great, then all my hard work went down the drain.

(19 Posts)
2babesmum Mon 25-Jun-07 22:21:09

Does anyone else feel like this? My daughter was an absolute sweetheart for her first 5 years. Since then shes gradually got more and more cocky, talks back etc. The other day she said 'yeah alright mummy I'm not blind you know!'. I know thats not extremely bad but she was such an angel before, she'd cry if I even slighly raised my voice to her. Now she just stares at me blankly if I talk to her sternly (no I don't shout loudly or smack). I know its prob school but is there anyway I can stop the devil coming out?

bogwobbit Mon 25-Jun-07 22:22:49

It sounds (sadly) perfectly normal to me. Looking on the bright side, it sounds like she's growing in confidence and self-assertiveness.

ViciousSquirrelSpotter Mon 25-Jun-07 22:24:46

Hmm, this sounds familiar...

Not just my DD who is like some kind of five year old teenager then

2babesmum Mon 25-Jun-07 22:33:37

Oh. My parents have suggested its her school because we're in a city and they want me to move into a village where they live. I'm not sure that this would help though, what do you think?

ViciousSquirrelSpotter Mon 25-Jun-07 22:45:44

No, my DD goes to a lovely, small, village-y type school, which is CofE, very strong values etc.

I think it's their personalities!

tearinghairout Mon 25-Jun-07 22:52:31

She's pushing the boundaries. Keep up your good work. She just needs to be reminded of what is & isn't acceptable speech when she comes out with things like that. It's what they expect you to do!

I wouldn't move to a village just because of this, different set of problems in villages! (Londoner now living in village.)

Tommy Mon 25-Jun-07 22:55:01

I have started to tell Ds1 that such language is "playground talk" and that he can use it there but I don't want to hear it.

He knows what I mean I think

jajas Mon 25-Jun-07 22:59:06

I live in a little village and one of my 5yr old twins is like a small teenager some of the time so don't think moving would help much. He has such attitude but to be honest I suspected he would be a bit 'feisty' from the outset!

TheDuchessOfNorks Mon 25-Jun-07 23:14:21

DH and I have been ranting about this all week. Our DD1 (also 5) is really pushing her luck. She's argumentative, fights with her younger siblings, has acquired a range of nasty sayings, answers back, frequently says 'nah' 'dunno' and drops her's t's. And I won't even start on her table manners & pleases & thank yous.

Also, she has started telling lies. She's been good at telling stories and imagining things etc since quite young but now uses the skill to get out of trouble. She took some jewellery to school last week, the TA asked her about it and she blithely said 'mummy said I Clearly mummy hadn't. We had a quiet chat about it. And she promptly did the same thing the next day with some small toy animals.

So I keep swinging between thinking it's a phase that will pass and being at my wits end with the little beast!

DS1 starts school in Sept. I'm dreading it!

TheDuchessOfNorks Mon 25-Jun-07 23:15:58

Sorry - half a sentence missing. Should read "mummy said I could bring it in".

3littlefrogs Mon 25-Jun-07 23:41:00

Sounds absolutely normal. It is a real culture shock going into reception. They copy and bring home all the behaviour they see around them, (from which they have previously been sheltered), and they are testing out the boundaries.
You have to reassert and reinforce your rules and standards all over again, but this time you have to make them understand that other children may not be accustomed to the same rules.
This can be quite scary for some children, and they need the security of knowing that there are still firm boundaries and expectations at home IYSWIM.

My dd went through a similar phase, but it didn't last long.

2babesmum Mon 25-Jun-07 23:54:19

Thanks for the reassurance dd1 has been gradually building up her phase for 18 months! I think I'm just really worried that by the time she gets to 12 yrs old we'll be enemy's. I too despise her dropping her t's too duchess. And every sentence has to have 'like' in it (although I just think that one is funny!)like!

TheDuchessOfNorks Mon 25-Jun-07 23:56:33

Well I suppose 'like' isn't as bad as 'innit'. Or 'bitches' - can you imagine

Desiderata Tue 26-Jun-07 00:00:48

If this helps, my dh has four children from a previous marriage, all grown up now.

They were all different as toddlers - but without exception, from the age of 5/6 they started getting cocky, talking back, etc, and it went on, spasmodically, for years.

When they got past adolescence, they all reverted to the characteristics they had as toddlers: i.e the difficult one got difficult again, the sweet, loving one became sweet and loving again, the intelligent one went on to uni, and so on.

So, long post ... but if she was an angel before, she'll become one again. Patience and fortitude!!!

2babesmum Tue 26-Jun-07 21:53:52

OMG I hate to think what dd2 will be like then shes as naughty and michievous as they come! Although she is nearly 4 I have to check what shes doing if I've left her in another room for more than a couple of mins. Last night she nearly strangled herself - not joking. She has one of those pop up dora toy tidys with handles, she wrapped the handles around her neck and hung it over the side of her mid sleeper with teddies in so it was heavy. I went up and she was red in the face looking at me with bulging eyes! Needless to say I promply removed it and cut the handles off! She actually has a dark red line around her neck today, good job shes oldenough to tell preschool what happened or I'd have social services at my door.

ChristyC Tue 26-Jun-07 22:02:13

My dd (6) was and STILL is the same and I would safely say I see no end in sight - she's even flouncing out of rooms now and slamming doors on the way, which we tell her is not a good way to behave. Language is a bit ripe at times too. The other day, I was driving them home from school and I could see from the rearview mirror that they were up to something. I asked what they were doing, we're saying hello to the car behind. Thats nice, I say, are you waving. (giggles from the back!) No, they say and ds(7) puts up two fingers and says to me, this is how you say hello and dd puts up middle finger and says, so is this!!!Learnt from school. Any advice on home-ed anyone!!

scully Wed 27-Jun-07 08:07:21

Very reassuring to read all of this
dd1 is 5 and we have had issues with how she speaks to us and answering back all year. I put some of it on starting school in Jan (we are in Australia) and some of it on her age and also that we moved here from UK last Oct so she had quite an adjustment following the move.
Still tricky at times though, like today when we were out with 7 other children from her class, you could clearly see the louder opinionated ones from the shy, quiet ones
But I keep thinking that when she is older it will be good for her to be confident and speak up for herself

goingfor3 Wed 27-Jun-07 08:12:48

It's near the end of the school year and most children are exhausted by this point. My dd is super stroppy at the moment which I put down to tiredness.

2babesmum Fri 29-Jun-07 17:25:08

From reading your posts it does seem like my 2 are pretty normal! I can relate to every one of them. Just have to keep soldiering on.

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