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Gifted vs non gifted siblings?

(6 Posts)
Beemommy Thu 29-Nov-18 01:07:17

Just wanted to see opinions on how differently your kids may have been developing during young age?
I have DS1 who is quite talented and in his 2.8 knows Arabic and English alphabets, knows how to write his name in both,counts till 50, fixes puzzles of up to 50 pieces however his younger sister is nothing like him. She is 1,5 and can’t say basic words, she would just imitate sounds of few animals and that’s it. Even though I know she is probably not missing any official milestones but I just keep comparing them all the time. DS in her age was singing and counting and knew all shapes(including trapezoids and hexagons) and sound of every animal on the planet.
Why has they been developing so differently? Any ideas?

OP’s posts: |
Cleojinx Thu 29-Nov-18 08:27:58

I'm expecting my second and my first is quite forward for his age. A lady at work told me not to be surprised if DC2 seemed to be behind in comparison because the first child tends to communicate on behalf of DC2.

Not sure how true it is as I'm not there but it definitely makes sense. Eg. "Mommy DC2 wants a snack."

FoxgloveStar Thu 29-Nov-18 09:06:36

“Gifted” isn’t a great word OP. At 2.8yrs this sounds fairly standard development and nobody gifted this child with special powers.

In terms of DC2, can you encourage her to speak for herself. Don’t let DC1 do all the talking. Make sure DC2 needs to speak to get what she wants. Also DC1 has the opportunity to teach her, and this also leads to DC1 developing faster as it’s very good for learning to have to explain to a sibling what a hexagon is for example, rather than just learning it yourself. Do you get any 1:1 time with DC2?

BentleyBelly Thu 29-Nov-18 12:20:20

Because she is her own person and not your son?! You are being very unfair on her, you should love her for who she is, not what she can say or count to. Every child does everything in their own time and their own way. My first didn't walk till she was nearly 2, she sat there chatting away and playing with fiddly toys. My second, at a similar age, just grunts and points but can climb anything you put in front of him and loves to dance. They are very different people, interested in different things. Try not to compare.

Witchend Thu 29-Nov-18 17:48:40

Because when he was 1.5yo you spent your time singing, and playing with the little boy in your life. Now she's 1.5yo you're spending your time teaching alphabets, counting etc to the 2.8yo in your life.

Don't make judgements about intelligence etc at this stage. They may well be totally wrong. Enjoy each child for who they are not what they can do.

HexagonalBattenburg Fri 30-Nov-18 08:04:42

One of mine is working across the board at greater depth, gifted and talented at school and incredibly verbally articulate. The other child has speech difficulties (there's an element of not being able to get a word in edgeways but also verbal dyspraxia and various grammatical and syntax related problems structuring her speech), struggles to write because of dyspraxia and only hit some of the expected levels for the end of her last school year.

Actually - although one has more issues and barriers in the way of her achieving in a conventional sense - she's naturally as smart as her sister - just in a different way. Her sister's bright in a straightforward academic way, and the other child is very very savvy and has such an innate sense of comic timing and witty verbal comebacks that you can't learn - I think she'll end up either as a comedian in the kind of Miranda Hart sense of things or as some kind of business entrepreneur who makes millions by sheer persistence and craftiness. Also incredibly loved by all her teachers and everyone who meets her just for her kind and loving nature and how funny she is.

Not as in-your-face intelligent - but the little voice in the corner who, when her older sibling was trying to demonstrate counting up in 3s just piped up with "you don't say two and then you say the next number" - it all goes in quietly and gets filed away for future use.

Don't underestimate the little siblings - they're usually very surprising little characters!

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