Worried about attitude and being successful

(2 Posts)
mummaoffour Sat 03-Nov-18 07:38:46

My 9 year old attends a private school(please don’t switch off I’m poor and receive no maintenance for him I work part time and am university educated )it’s paid for by in-laws who want him to do better than their poorly educated and waste of a space son and they know education is important . They keep a distance as they live a plane journey away but want fortnightly updates. They are only paying until year 8 so unless I can get him scholarships and bursaries and go back to work full time I can’t really see him staying in the private sector (devastating at year 9 to join a mainstream school).

Anyway my issue (divorced from his useless dad, who he adores) he see him occasionally. My worry is that I want my son to achieve and be ambitious so I’m quite hard on him ensuring he practices his music daily and does some English and maths mostly daily in the holidays. But it is so hard he has no real interest in this and it is a fight to get him to do any of this. He thinks money grows on trees as his dad tries to buy his love and yesterday he said already he won’t go to university - I was shocked as I hadn’t mentioned this - he is only 9,!

It’s a bit of a long story but I think his dad wants him to be a footballer to despite his parents (who have disowned him) but last week my sons coach told me that he doesn’t play well when when dad is there as he shouts etc!

I’m desperate for him to do well in life it doesn’t have to be university but being confident and personable can make you a success. Private school is not all it’s cracked up to be and with fewer children he lacks friendships there is a lot of jealousy as he is top at all sports and in the year above too. His dad has no friends or family that want to know him and I don’t want my son to be like this in the future. Parents have seen some of the things my ex has done and not many people like him so I wonder if this is why he doesn’t get invited to play dates much. He has friends in his footy team and one or two at the school which are ok but most are spoilt brats over confident and not that nice with competitive and pushy parents.

I just feel lost my parents are quite old (not local) and I feel I can’t talk to them and my friends just say he is. A Lovely boy and he will be fine he is nothing like his dad but they don’t see him on a daily basis.

I’m just worried for his future he seems to have no drive for anything which is like his dad who is in a dead end job and managing to keep it for a while. School report he is doing well all round but I can’t see this in some the simple things in maths and English unless he just plays me up.

Any help support would be gratefully received.

OP’s posts: |
NeverStopExploring Sun 04-Nov-18 18:47:01

He is 9 years old not 16. I get you want him to have goals and have a comfortable and successful life but it sounds like your putting pressure on him to grow up. He does on average 25 hours a week at school he needs down time. At 9 my ambition was to become a rally driver confused funnily enough that dream didn’t last. Football may not be his future career but it will give him other benefits. Meeting new people, team work, good coordination and also enable him to burn excess energy just to name a few. Football is probably very important to him because his school does not sound like a great fit from what you have posted. I would seriously consider putting him in a mainstream school sooner than year 9

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