I have a 4 year old DS, I had him when I was very very young and I haven't been the best parent during that time. I tried but being single I had to work a lot and when I did spend time with him I wasn't great.. I don't feel we did enough fun activities and nice things. After a while I found a good balance and my and my DS were doing great, then 6 months ago I had another baby and things have gone from good to awful.
I try so hard to make life nice for my DS. But all he does is scream at me if he doesn't get his own way and I'm honestly losing the will to live. (Aware of how dramatic that sounds) he doesn't seem phased by his new sister, he loves her very much and has never said anything mean or expressed that he doesn't like her. Sometimes he asks me to put her down so he can have a cuddle and that's about it.
My DS gets far more attention than 6 month old DD. He screams at me constantly if things aren't his way. If I don't let him have sweets he just screams and cries and starts banging walls and biting things with anger. If I tell him to get dressed himself and he refuses like 10 times to the point where I have to raise my voice, he starts screaming and crying and saying nobody wants to be his best friend. It doesn't sound bad but having to go through the same stuff day in day out and having a child screaming at you and lashing out is just a nightmare, literally every half hour.
He goes to nursery 2 days a week and his behaviour is wonderful there and he's a very clever nice little boy there all the time. At home it's just a different story.
Putting him on the step is a traumatic event and involves me taking him back to the step at least 10 times every time (seriously) whilst he lashes out at me and laughs because he thinks it's funny. He goes to his dads house every other weekend and I know they let him do absolutely whatever he wants. I have a good relationship with his dad and have spoken to him about this countless times but the same responsibility just isn't there, they continue to let him do whatever he likes and eat what he wants and act how he wants and treat him like a baby. I think this may be the problem but if they don't do anything about it and I've asked them to many times.. where does that leave me? What can I do?
I'm feeling like a terrible mum TBH. Part of me is worried I'm a toxic mother and that's why he's so cross all the time, maybe I shout too much or expect too much from him. I just feel horrific. I don't know what to do.
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Behaviour/development
My 4 year olds behaviour is awful and I'm an awful. What do i do?
5 replies
thewishingtree · 30/10/2018 11:27
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