Advanced search

"Alpha mums turn parenting into a serious issue and motherhood into martyrdom, and the result is nobody has any fun"

(113 Posts)
CuttingCod Sun 17-Jun-07 18:27:16

we are all alpha mums deep donw
we lal try not to be but we are.

How cna oyu not want your kid to do well ooooooooooooooooooooooh you lot " i dont care if ds is a bin man or not"

yeah right

CuttingCod Sun 17-Jun-07 18:26:29

"Alpha mums are so determined to make a project out of everything, they are not considering or loving the child, who becomes an object of status or self-glorification for the mother," says Brenda Shoshanna, an author of books on family stress.

Ah yes, the child as a pride-inducing social accessory.

A kind of toddling Tamagotchi to be taken out every so often, tampered with and packed off somewhere else.

We've all heard these women boasting about their babies' achievements.

Whenever I meet a professional working mother who begins our chat with "Michael's speaking some Spanish, he's only 18 months", I want to scream 'So what!' quickly followed by 'The poor thing".

Down the years, I've worked as a pre- school assistant, clown and drama teacher, and I have yet to meet the child who, when asked what makes them happy, says: "Being busy all the time with a variety of learning experiences."

Alpha mothers put greater emphasis on a child's perceived success, while Beta mums value their child's happiness.

For Alpha parents, staying ahead of the pack educationally is an obsession - and one I believe is truly hateful because of the pressure it puts young children under. It's also likely to be counterproductive.

lulumama Sun 17-Jun-07 18:25:34

what is a beta mum?

<am certainly theta, or delta, possibly gamma....feck knows, didn;t do ancient greek..>>

CuttingCod Sun 17-Jun-07 18:25:28


Held up as an aspirational role model for the rest of us, she never has a hair out of place and can be spotted tapping urgently into her Blackberry on the school run.

This sort of woman treats parenthood as a project to be managed down to the last second.

Fiercely organised, she's likely to be highpowered and well-educated. Aren't you feeling inferior already?

But there's more to an Alpha mum than that.

She treats her home life as an extension of her corporate one: family time is merely another slot in the bulging diary.

Her children are seamlessly ferried between extra curricular activities with little to no time to spare for relaxation or, God forbid, just thinking.

Doing nothing is not an option for these youngsters.

CuttingCod Sun 17-Jun-07 18:23:54


francagoestohollywood Sun 17-Jun-07 18:23:31

what the hell is an alpha mum?

CuttingCod Sun 17-Jun-07 18:19:33

oih SHIT

<dons beta mum guise>

i FARKING [layed tenensi today wiht ds2
i cannto play tennis
i put gear on and pranced

motherinferior Sun 17-Jun-07 18:19:12

I am an Omega Mum.

moondog Sun 17-Jun-07 18:17:49

But do you believe anything of that ilk written in Sunday papers?? Really??
(Bet twas Sunday Times)

paulaplumpbottom Sun 17-Jun-07 18:17:44


cornsilk Sun 17-Jun-07 18:17:35

Hope I'm a beta mum then!

littlelapin Sun 17-Jun-07 18:17:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Twiglett Sun 17-Jun-07 18:16:42

article in sunday papers says Alpha Mum might have had her day

and that Beta Mums are raising confident happy children

well hurrah

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now