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Breastfeeding 23month old HELL

(6 Posts)
Mummymillymac Mon 15-Oct-18 21:09:13

Suppose I'm looking for some sort of advice/stories of others experience with this...
My lovely boy will be 2years old at the end of November and he's still breastfed.
He has never ever slept more that three hours (and even three hours is pretty rare) lately he's become even more attached to myself and now screams if I don't put him to bed and will scream if I don't feed him to sleep.
He isn't fed during the day and doesn't even bother with them (he calls them booboos and it breaks my heart) I've absolutely lived feeding him and my journey breastfeeding has been amazing but I'm ready to stop now.

It's causing a lot of strain and stress in my marriage and I've not slept apart from him (he's in our bed) since he's been born.

When he goes to my mums and MILs house they can lay next to him in a bed and he'll fall asleep fine so I know he's capable but when I'm around he'll cry his heart out for me. And then when he does finally go to sleep he'll wake up at least 3/4 times at night and feed. I've tried saying no but he'll scream and cry. We have two older children so I'm always worried he'll wake them up too.

He's obviously so attached now to my boobs in particular and I just don't know how I'm going to stop.

Pleas if anyone can give my any advice I'll be so grateful.

None of my friends ever breastfed for very long nor my own family and they all think it's really weird that he's still BF so I do struggle talking to them.

My husband is brilliant, but I know deep down that he doesn't understand that special relationship my son and I have, and like I said it's started to take its toll on us both.

Thank you

OP’s posts: |
Rosesared Tue 16-Oct-18 20:36:53

My baby is 20 weeks and we both love breastfeeding, however, I kinda have your scenario in the back of my mind.
Could you maybe try sleeping in another bedroom, just for a few nights? You said he will fall asleep for your MIL and mum, so maybe let DP do bedtime and nights until a) your milk dries up and/or b) baby learns to self soothe at night.
Also maybe let dad offer a bottle at bedtime.
It can't be easy...good luck, and remember: not many kids still breastfeed at age 15!

MatriarchalDreams Wed 17-Oct-18 23:12:00

I can sympathise - I breastfed my eldest until she was 4 although she stopped feeding at night at about 3 and was generally an ok-ish sleeper. It's quite a different ballgame from breastfeeding a baby and those who haven't done it often just don't understand (hence the not very helpful comments from family!) There are various different stances you can take and 'methods'/ideas you can read - Dr Jay Gordon nightweaning whilst co-sleeping method is quite popular for example. The No-Cry sleep solution discusses stopping feeding to sleep (and there's a toddler version), I think Sarah Ockwell-Smith has a sleep book which goes into quite a lot of detail about bedtime routines and setting a really good routines with lots of other sleep cues before attempting to stop feeding to sleep so that you're not just cutting off their only/main sleep cue. I think at his age trying to give him some warning and talk him through what will happen at night now may help, but he's still likely to be quite cross. However remember, that's ok, he's allowed to be cross and to express that but you're allowed to not want to feed him overnight anymore. Sorry, not very helpful tips, I'm just reaching the point with my 15 month old where feeding to sleep isn't always working quickly and trying to rack my brains to remember what I did with my eldest at this stage! I've had some success with lying him in his cot after he's fed for quite a while but isn't yet asleep then placing my hand on his back, but he's got to be in the right state so it's not always successful.

Hope you find something that helps and you're able to find a way of finishing that works for you.

enidlowrij Fri 19-Oct-18 22:29:00

I know some women put plasters on their nipples and say they've ran out of milk, I would honestly Google some creative ways of doing it. I stoped at 1 years old it just didn't phase him I started with breastfeeding before bed then bottle in the middle of the night and morning he ended up wanting the bottle because I was running out of milk.

CosyPinkBlanket Tue 23-Oct-18 21:45:35

How are you getting on OP? If it's any consolation, I'm still breastfeeding my dd at night (I feed her to sleep) and she was 2 in August. I'd quite like to stop but she doesn't. To make matters worse I have practically no milk so she's almost dry nursing. No advice I'm afraid as I'm in the same boat as you and just hoping she'll self-wean soon! At least you know you're not alone! flowers

Mummymillymac Wed 24-Oct-18 17:30:19

Hi ladies thanks for your responses!

Well it's been a week now and even though we are still co sleeping we have stopped night feeds which I didn't think possible a week ago.

He still wakes up throughout the night and not a couple of times has he pulled at my top but he's easily pacified with a cuddle from me which was actually impossible this time last week and would result in a huge amount of tears and screaming.

If he asks in the morning then I let him feed for short while as it's still such a nice way to wake up but he's starting to just get up and not bother with it (makes me sad)

I can't let him see my 'boo boos' though or he seems to lose or self control and try's to claw at me with mouth ready 😂🤦🏽‍♀️

But hopefully (fingers crossed) it just gets better for us.

OP’s posts: |

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