Attitude and behavior problems

[Whitneydavies11]

Hi wanting to seek some advice it's my first time posting.
My 10 year old girl is getting a bit too much for me, the way she speaks to me it like she has a problem with me with everything I do.
I let her stay up til 9 on skl nights and she goes out after skl before tea if she has done her homework first, I let her have her own space with her friends on her own, we have a ten to twenty mins reading time before bed just me and her also watch TV together after reading . She helps round the house when not at skl my kids take it in turns doing things eg. hoovering, sweeping, moping, washing up, drying etc..

One minute she is the nicest girl and polite and can talk for England so usually easy to please, but then the next she hates me saying I don't care you don't know what it's like for me.
For example she came home from a skl club yesterday done her usual things she does that I ask her. She went out with her friends for an hour before tea, come in was fine right up until her younger sisters went to bed at 7:20, then she remembers she forgot to bring her uniform n pe kit down to wash before she went out before tea even though she said she definitely brought it down so I told her quietly go upstairs get ur uniform so I can wash it before it's too late to,, she went upstairs fine then all I could hear is her shouting at her sisters because she said someone has moved her pe trousers when no one had touched them. So without shouting and having a go I told her to come back down stairs quietly so I could see what the problem was she told me then I said it's fine if u can't find ur pe kit as u have a spare pe kit in ur wardrobe and I will get it sorted for you in the morning saves disturbing ur sisters. She didn't like that kicked off about it. Then was quiet for about 60 seconds then started to go on about her gold top for skl mum this needs washing and ur supposed to hand wash it not put it in the washer that's why the colour is coming out of it. I then said to her if it couldn't go in the washing machine it would say that on the label and to hand wash only but it says both on the label so u can do either. I then sat by her explained if I had the time to hand wash skl uniform I would darling but I just haven't. Her reply was well u obviously don't care how I look and that my top is discolouring. The top still looks the same from the first time it was given to her by her teacher before the summer hols. Everytime I ask her to do something she will most of the time use are mouth and attitude the I don't care what you say type then I stop her and say to her remember who u are talking to then she moans that I've stopped her from doing what I asked.... I literally could go on forever I really need a bit of a confidence boost with this situation I'm being as patient as I can I'm not shouting I talk to her I sit her down and say the things I say. I've also warned her this morning If she carries on speaking to me the way she is by the end of the week there will be consequences for her actions.... Please help want to hear everyone else views am I wrong should I punish her ground her stop her going out or? Thanks in advance chantelle Shepherd xxxx

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

You have my total sympathy OP, my DD can be very much like this. One thing we’ve found that helps is to calmly tell her that we don’t speak to one ather like that and if she persists, bedtime will be 10 minutes earlier.

[Whitneydavies11]

Yeah that's what we do to. Just feel useless like she hates me.