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Grandparents access to my daughter

(9 Posts)
Jmjonesuk Fri 24-Aug-18 08:20:45

I am involved in a very messy divorce. My ex still allows my mother contact with my daughter despite me not wanting contact. My mother sexually abused me as a child and I do not want her to have contact with my daughter. Last night I found out that my ex had allowed my mother to take my daughter away for 3 nights. My ex knows I do not give her permission to do this and yet she went right ahead and let my mother take my daughter away. Do I make an application for a non molestation order? Go to the police? Any advice would be very much appreciated.

OP’s posts: |
JiltedJohnsJulie Sat 25-Aug-18 08:58:26

Have you thought of going to the Police over the abuse you suffered OP? Have you received any specialist counselling too?

JiltedJohnsJulie Sat 25-Aug-18 08:59:47

Sorry forgot to say. If you’re not happy with the current situation, is there a reason that you haven’t gone for full custody?

FTMF30 Sat 25-Aug-18 16:54:41

I'd say go too the police. Otherwise, there's nt much you can do prevent your mothers access. It will just seem like you don't like her. You also need justice for what happened.. She shouldn't be around any children.

Jmjonesuk Sun 26-Aug-18 07:21:48

there was a police investigation in 2010 and another is ongoing into historical child sex abuse. The police say there is very little hope of a prosecution against my mother. I've asked them how I can legally stop my mother seeing my daughter but they have not given me an answer. It seems as my ex wife agrees on contact thats ok. I've had a ton of therapy over the years and I don't feel I need or want any further help with the abuse. I just do not want my daughter having contact with my mother. in the long term its not in my daughters best interest as the relationship is based on lies. How will my daughter feel when she grows up and finds out what her nanny did to me. it will destroy all the memories she has. it seems I have to take out an injunction on my mother.

OP’s posts: |
FTMF30 Mon 27-Aug-18 17:23:40

Sorry to hear about the non helpful police. I think you should still mention this to the police as a preventative measure. surely if someone is under investigation for child sex abuse, they should not be allowed around children.

Is the custody between you and your wife court ordered? I have little understanding of these things but I think if you were to take her to family court. The conditions of her care for your daughter whilst she has her can be laid out and include no grandmother access.

The only other option I see is perhaps speaking to your mother directly, or even a letter, telling her to stay away.

sue51 Mon 27-Aug-18 19:37:02

Does your ex know about the abuse?

Jmjonesuk Tue 28-Aug-18 07:30:55

I've told my m mother and my ex wife I do not agree to contact but she does nothing. My Ex was fully aware of the abuse but since the divorce she now says she does not believe I was abused.

I have made an application to the court for child arrangements which also included stopping contact but the court did not do anything.

OP’s posts: |
PaulMorel Tue 28-Aug-18 09:22:28

Ask the authority for a full custody for the child. In that way you can prevent any contact from your mother to her grandchild.

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