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Stress in pregnancy damage

(3 Posts)
lola212121 Sat 11-Aug-18 15:12:13

So , 4 years ago I gave birth to a lovely boy , however the pregnancy was continually stressful , firstly the sonographer thought he had brain damage at 12 weeks so was prepared to terminate but it turned out he got it wrong , then I split up from my partner during the second trimester so had to juggle a lot of things as a single parent with no support and then a very traumatic incident happened during the third trimester .
I'm wondering if anybody else had a stressful pregnancy and years later what are some negative attributes that your child has : anxious ? Hyperactive ? confusion of gender ? Learning difficulties ? Aggressive ? moody ? ..or are there no major issues ? He is definitely the most difficult child and had been since a baby , however he does have a different dad so it could be his father's character , would like to hear what others have to say

TheApeOfDeath Mon 13-Aug-18 12:21:08

I found out my mother had terminal cancer when I was 5 months pregnant. From that moment on I was her carer. She died when my son was 4months. I spent nights sleeping in a hard back chair by her bed. Sometimes begging her to eat, trying to reassure her, going through every (useless) treatment. I ended up having an emergency C section because my son had stopped growing. He was 4lb 3oz born (my first was 8lb 8oz). The cancer ate her up in front of our eyes. She was 15stone when diagnosed. She was less than 6stone when she died. My son has just been diagnosed as profoundly autistic (Kanner’s Syndrome). He is now 3.5yrs old. I can’t tell you if stress in pregnancy leads to any kind of delay/disorder or behaviourial problems (I sometimes wonder if my son is the way he is because I started taking SSRIs when pregnant but I’ll never know). What I can tell you is that blaming yourself is a fools game and that millions of children who have had to gestate through horrifying circumstances (refugees, ghettos, genocide, DV etc) are born perfectly well and become strong, resilient, well adjusted children.

annoyed1212 Mon 13-Aug-18 13:46:45

I was once speaking to a GP (not mine, a family friend) about stress in pregnancy and my own personal experience with DS1. At the time I had moved 200 miles away from all family and friends, was going through a rocky patch with DH, was living in an absolutely horrible house in a horrible area and then recieved news of a surprise pregnancy. I muddled through the pregnancy with no complications, just severe vitamin deficiencies. But was an emotional mess throughout. I don't think I must have cried as much as a baby as I did in those 9 months and the 6 months after his birth.

GP friend said more research needs to be done on the subject but some suggests stress hormones during pregnancy greatly affect the unborn child and their nervous disposition. DS1 is an emotionally difficult child and has been from birth. I couldnt put him down for the first 6 months as he cried and cried and hardly slept. Since then its anxiety, physical tics, incredibly sensitive, unable to comminicate his feelings and emotions affectively. He had a difficult birth too which I think added to the trauma. I do feel incredibly guilty but I know I am not to blame for the pregnancy. I was in a bad place at the time. With DS2 he was planned, I put myself first and ensured I was surrounded by positive people. DH was supportive. DS2 is a happy child, the total opposite to DS1. I love them both equally and I know some attributes are inherited but I do feel stress in pregnancy is a factor.

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