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Behaviour/development

Extroverted son

5 replies

lola212121 · 06/08/2018 20:58

My youngest 4 year old son non-stop talks at a loud level , needs constant stimulation from me or gets very angry or upset and it's draining me . I'm an introvert and s single parent and am feeling physically sick from not being able to have time alone ATM . He will not Go to sleep till nearly 11 lately either . Exhausted . what's the secret ?

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Sunnybeachbabe · 06/08/2018 21:43

Hello, I'm similar...... introvert single parent with extrovert child. It's tough isn't it? My only solution is lots of play dates, social events and clubs. I seek out places where dd can run off and socialise whilst I can sit quietly on the sidelines. I think this will get easier for you in the next year or so as they get a little more independent once they start school.

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Pansy0926 · 07/08/2018 19:32

This is exactly my situation, though I’m not sure I would have thought to call my son an extrovert. Naughty, loud, rough...I think I’ll say extrovert from now on to help fool myself into a more positive mindframe.

I’m a quiet person, would happily not seek out company for weeks at a time, happy to not leave the house more than twice a week, have only one friend, though we are very close...

DS never bloody stops talking. He has just turned three and he shouts everything, and it is constant. He shouts over me asking him to quiet down, he shouts over his baby brother crying, he shouts when I am on the phone, or talking to the cashier at the paper shop....I’ve actually become one of those parents who zones out and who doesnt listen to their child’s, because he never stops. He will repeat the same question/sentence againand again in different ways, and it doesn’t matter whether or not I answer, or change my answer.

I have taken to taking him walking for up to three hours every day just to tire him out because he has so much excessive energy. Because Inhave a small baby as well though, I can’t take him to many activities because he needs to be watched constantly to make sure he is being gentle with other kids and doesn’t get pushy.

He will walk up to strangers and start a conversation, which I hate. Whenever I answer the phone he talks over me, trying to speak to whoever it is.

Today I feel pretty low. He has been naughty all day and it’s has drained me. I never thought I’d have a kid who so actively enjoys winding me up till I cry. It’s a mystery because I never react to his misbehaving I just stay calm and tell him its not acceptable etc.

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Pansy0926 · 07/08/2018 20:08

Continued:

Try introducing the idea of playing by himself in his room. You could. Make it more attractive by buying him special toys which he can only have for playing alone (and that means no calling for you constantly to play with him! When mine does this, I just ignore him. He got used to the idea that I simply can’t hear him when he is in his room during play time. I would just answer the first time he called and say ‘I can’t hear you because it’s time to play alone’ and also ‘what’s that? Your ready for me to take away the quiet time toys?’ As it was only for give minutes of play at first, it wasn’t so bad and he got the idea before long). Or give him toys there which he doesn’t get often.

So just start with five minutes and build it up. My DS can play alone for an hour on a very good day (he is three).


Or you can give him a game to pay on the iPad - I recommend the Pokémon playhouse game! This is good if you really just need instant silence to collect yourself. Sounds bad but in my case the talking isn’t so constant I actually can’t think straight.

Ps I know I sound pretty mean saying I can’t hear him and implicitly threatening to take away toys if he calls for me to play but that’s just me trying to keep explanations short as I have already gone on too long, I obviously do explain everything clearly to him and he knows I am there if he needs me etc etc. I just mean it gets to a point where you can’t keeo going over long winded explanations of arse as I said my son repeats everything 100 times. Also, the iPad is not something I do all the time, just when desperate. You know your own kid, you know how to phrase things so he understands best

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Pansy0926 · 07/08/2018 20:09

*five not give

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Pansy0926 · 07/08/2018 20:11

I don’t know why it autocorrected to arse in the last paragraph it’s supposed to be ‘everything ‘. I give up. Sorry for all the posts, hope I helped and apologies for my own whining! It’s been a crap day!

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