How to manage 4 year old

[babytalkobsession]

Help! I have a strong willed 4 (5 in September) year old ds1 who I'm really struggling with.

Our main issue is how he is with his 2 year old brother. I completely see that a 2 year is annoying, but ds1 snatches, wants everything his little bro has got, hits, occasionally kicks. He'll encourage his little bro to play, e.g. making a den but within seconds there's crying from ds2.

I honestly am at my wits end. It's exhausting and our family time is spent separating them, shouting at ds1 etc. I'm sick of my own voice. Aaah

How would you discipline / teach him? I should add, he's good at nursery. Great feedback regarding his behaviour and social skills.

Thanks

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

What do you do now if he hits and kicks?

[Babytalkobsession]

@JiltedJohnsJulie apologies I haven't checked back on this thread.

We're basically doing everything. 123, time out, talking ie 'help me understand why...', yelling, quite time in his room to calm down (can play etc), threats of removal of toys / cancelling treats have no impact. There is nothing he seems to care enough about. Nothing seems to upset him so it's like an punishment is irrelevant.

He also doesn't go to sleep at all easily. We can't stay away anywhere or do anything that might result in an afternoon sleep. His behaviour is bad because he's tired and can't cope - but then we can't get him to sleep!

I'm losing my mind to be honest. Not enjoying this parenting lark at all at the moment

[Phoenix76]

That sounds exhausting! Maybe he’s one of those children who respond to reward, so maybe a sticker chart for good behaviour with the ultimate goal being a treat he really wants. Encourage your dcs to work as a team to gain a reward. Tiredness will definitely play a part, my 5 year old daughter has a personality transplant when she’s tired so lots of “down” time where you can. It sounds like you’re doing it already but remaining firm but calm helps a lot, when I’ve shouted she’ll shout back but if I remain calm but firm she’ll respond in the same way and we take it from there. It is hard and I often feel like you but when I do the above it works on mine, good luck.