6 year old DS just can't focus

[crazymumofthree]

I need some advice about my son, he is very hard work, he is loud and can come across quite rude sometimes as he just says what is on his mind, he is very impulsive with a do now think later attitude and doesn't seem to think anything through or understand consequences of his actions.

I worry about him daily because he can't focus either, he has just started swimming lessons and both times the teacher has said he needs to focus more, I have spoken to him but he just can't seem to help himself, while the teacher is talking he's got his back to him looking at something else etc and then doesn't know what he is meant to be doing. School have also said the same, he will shout out and interrupt, his writing isn't great because he can't sit still and focus on it. He also does piano and I can hear him just chatting away he never stops!

He is very bright but lacks common sense if that makes sense? You have to ask him to do things a few times and even then he may not have paid attention to it all. He is very in your face, no stranger danger and also does silly things sometimes without thinking. A couple of days ago he got a pole from the goal post and hit his sisters playhouse plastic door, not just once but three times enough to crack and break a part out of the plastic window. He doesn't know why he did this, was upset when told off but in another few days will most likely go on to do something similar again... the time before he was playing mummies and babies with his sister upstairs and actually snuck down and got a nappy put it on, weed in it and left it in the bathroom. He didn't understand why it was wrong he was taking it at literal value of changing his nappy etc.

We have tried various ways of dealing with his behaviour but it's in one ear out the other, we've done reward charts, positive parenting when he gets things right, role play, shouting at him, being disappointed, time out, confiscating technology and nothing helps.

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

A lot of what you’ve said OP would first in with ASD, but that’s just my opinion, I’m not trained.

It is probably worth talking this through with your GP and asking for a referral to have him assessed. I’d also ask for a referral for a hearing test too, just to rule out hearing impairment as the reason for lack of focus.

[PureColdWind]

Could it be ADHD? www.nhs.uk/conditions/attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder-adhd/symptoms/#symptoms-in-children-and-teenagers

I'd have him assessed if I were you to find out if there is something going on. My 8 year old was diagnosed with ASD at age 5 and the supports put in place for him at school have transformed his behaviour in a very good way.

Do the school feel his behaviour is very out of line compared to other children his age?

[crazymumofthree]

I don't think his behaviour is really bad at school, he has only been on the 'cloud' a couple of times the whole school year and he does get rewards for good behaviour that goes towards their weekly treat but he needs reminding often and like I said is very chatty etc which I think probably just gets on the teachers nerves. His class are all very placid well behaved boys, for example he plays a lot with boys from another class and when with them his behaviour doesn't really stand out as they are all louder etc but he is still very disruptive, spontaneous and loud. I thought at first immature which it could still be but I know he get angry at himself when he's spontaneous and like I said no thought goes into anything at all!! The school haven't suggested asd or adhd though, would they?

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

They may very well not suggest ASD. After all the teacher has 30 orcso children to look after. Did any of the behaviours from the link sound familiar?

[crazymumofthree]

Interestingly enough he fits to a T the adhd link traits - forgetful (like literally everyday), loud, can't wait his turn, can't read social situations etc, the ASD he fits the first part but he isn't obsessive about anything, doesn't have any repetitive traits and and no adversions to sensory things either. I work in a preschool and we have autistic children through frequently and I know all children are different and present differently but I don't think it is autism if I am being honest, he gives eye contact, is overly confident, speaks well, doesn't obsess over anything. As a young child he's never really played with toys, he was the child that preceded to pull all the dvds out and just likes messy play.