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Struggling with almost one year old

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WonderWoman1009 Tue 19-Jun-18 12:22:06

I have 2 children 1 DD who is 5 and my youngest son who is almost 1. When my daughter was born she was practically a breeze very well behaved, slept well, ate well, not really very clingy. My son however is the complete opposite. I know obviously no 2 children are the same and some are a bit more challenging than others. But DS behaviour is really taking a toll on my mental health. I feel so miserable and unhappy all the time and as much as I love him he makes me resent my life sometimes. He refuses to sleep, nap time is a nightmare even though he's exhausted he will scream and scream, claw at me, wriggle til he practically passes out from exhaustion. I gave up trying to set a bed time as I can't leave him in his cot. I've tried soothing him, cry it out, every method possible. He won't have it. I can't walk even slightly out of eye shot without all hell breaking loose and him screaming like a banshee! In fact with all his daily screaming melt downs im surprised a neighbour hasnt called SS by now! He heavily favours his dad and their bond is adorable but when OH isn't around my son is like a different child and like a devil baby. I feel so ashamed to actually admit any of this out loud, especially as we have some close friends struggling fertility and know they would give their leg to have what we have. The final straw was at the weekend when my mum took care of our son while we went to celebrate OH birthday only to get a message saying she couldn't cope with DS behaviour and we needed to come pick him up. I find myself in tears daily due to not being able to cope with his melt downs and its starting to deeply affect my moods. Which in turn is affecting my relationship with my partner. He said I'm always miserable and down and he's finding himself constantly trying to to make me happy but to no avail and says he's fed up of hearing me moan about DS and I feel like I'm ruining his life with how I feel. Not every day is like this particularly if OH isn't at work, we have lovely family days and some days I am really happy and content but more often than not, the day is a struggle. OH runs his own business so works 6 days a week usually which is tough also. I love him with all my heart and would be heartbroken to lose him but I feel like I'm driving him away. I don't even feel like myself anymore. Sorry to ramble on I just needed to get it all out sad

OP’s posts: |
JiltedJohnsJulie Tue 19-Jun-18 15:34:38

Please speak to your HV, she will be able to help you with naps and sleep. Some HVs used to run sleep clinics, which should help.

In the short term, would taking him out for a drive or a walk at the same time each day help with the naps? He sounds very, very tired. I’d go back to a bedtime too, but try bringing it forward to 6.30 pm or 7pm. Lots of babies love consistency so if you all have tea at 5 pm then bath him, read to him and give him a bottle or bf, then put him in his cot each night at the same time, he might get the idea after a while, have you tried the gradual retreat method?

Could your DH or DM hit DD to sleep while you settle DS?

Please also phone your GP now. You need to tell them how you are feeling. What you’ve written seems beyond baby blues and you need more help than a forum can provide.

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