my 10 year old and puberty im finding it hard

(6 Posts)
xxme2uxx1 Tue 12-Jun-18 15:55:27

hi my 10 year old has had a rough couple of years we have lost so many loved ones including my mum and dad who my daughter was very close too - last year i noticed my daughters body was changing rapidly her boobs are now in an A cup and she not evan 11 yet shes got darkerning or the hairs but hast started her periods yet but ive also noticed the BIG change in her attitude - she has been having a few problem with bullies which the head is involved and luckly not every day mainly name calling from 1 perfetic bully who tbh nobody really likes in school anyway so my daughter hasnt got it too bad but lately EVERYTHINK is my fault wether if its her friends cant come out to play or its not her fave dinner or her fave programme is not on its my god damm fault - ive tried talking to her nicely to which i get one word answers and pretty much acts like a kevin its all snort snuffs and its unfair attitude tbh i wasnt expecting this till about 13 not 10 sad we used to be like bestfriends specially as ive lost my own mother and have no other girls in my life but her - me and her dad are married and we are happy we just started letting her have a bit of freedom to the park or shops and her grades are all good - im so sad/angry/upset that puberty has stolen my daughter and replaced her with a moody miserable cow - we take her on holidays which she doesnt appriciate all she wants is her friends back home so we have to rush back for her to go out for a couple of hours which makes her happy - she has stopped making her bed and tidying her room which she did every morning - its hard to get her up for school i have to wake her 10 times in a hour then goes mad at me cus i didnt make her her fave breakfast sad ive tried nicey nice and i have disaplined her nothing is working!!! is this normal? will it get worse? im struggling i love her so much i just want her to be happy sad

OP’s posts: |
JiltedJohnsJulie Tue 12-Jun-18 16:11:14

Puberty hasn’t stolen your DD OP, she’s just changed. It’s hard but she’s still there and she still loves you.

If she’s having trouble getting up and us moody, is she getting enough sleep?

I’m so sorry that you e lost your parents. Have you tried any grief counselling? thanks

xxme2uxx1 Tue 12-Jun-18 16:33:44

i think so she goes to bed at 8pm and sound asleep before 10pm and i wake her at 7am at the weekends she can easily sleep till 1pm lol i have suggested grief councilling to her as ive already had it but she crys and says she doesnt want to talk to anybody

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xxme2uxx1 Tue 12-Jun-18 16:34:47

she also sumtimes admits she doesnt know whats going on she just said she felt angry over nothing

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corythatwas Tue 12-Jun-18 23:30:35

She will be happy, she is just adjusting to some changes at the moment. But do try not to burden her with the need to be "the only girl" in your life. Remember her job is to grow into an independent adult, your job is to teach her to do that and make her feel good about it. You won't make life easier for either of you by going around feeling you had a right to keep that little girl or that something is being stolen from you. Something exciting and wonderful is happening, even if it's hard work while it's going on.

Try to stay calm and cheerful, call her out on any actual rudeness but try to ignore the huffing and puffing.

Echobelly Thu 14-Jun-18 20:11:23

Corythatwas has a good point - make sure you're not on some level making her feel pressure of being the girl in your life, and also try not to think of her that way yourself.

I guess she is developing into her own person, so you need to let that happen and she probably will be back to being your friend in a couple of years if you play your cards right - I think the early bit is worst really, as their moods etc are hard for them to understand and manager.

Keep channels open, echo her feelings 'You feel really gutted that programme isn't on', 'You're really disappointed that X can't come over' and so on, so she knows you are paying attention to her feelings. Good luck!

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