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Cousin/family issue(2 Posts)
Hi all, in need of some advice... will try to keep it short.
I am from a small town and was bringing up my now 6year old by myself with help from his father who was always there when i needed him, but majority of the time my little boys upbringing was by me. I taught him respect and discipline and he was a very friendly well mannered child. Many parents commented how well id done (even my partners family).
In the last year i got back together with his father and i moved 60miles away from my small hometown to the big city where my partner and his family live. My partner has 1 sibling (a sister) who has a 7year old boy and 4 year old girl. In 'their' familys opinion the kids lack respect for anyone, are very spoilt, ungrateful and there is no coparenting which means the kids basically run the house. It is untidy and they are not made to tidy up or moan constantly if they have to. The boy has taken quite a hatred to his sister and is very nasty towards her, the family feel this is due to him getting his way all the time if he moans and he says he wishes she wasnt born, she is ugly and is stupid (i have heard these while i look after them). Despite these issues no one has felt the need to question her as she went through a very traumatic 2nd birth and is in a lot of pain due to PGP.
They all go to same school and the oldest has begun to manipulate and control my boy. My son is hellbent on being his cousins friend and sometimes the oldest says things like 'well if you dont do that i wont be your friend'. He has also made my son say nasty things to his younger cousin and makes him leave her out of games when the 3 of them are together in my care when their mum is working. And if he is not pulling my son into it he is just being horrible to his sister himself. Sometimes it even reverses and my little boy starts being nasty to his younger cousin to score browny points only for the oldest to then say to my son thats not very nice then says im going to tell your mum. It is draining!!
Because my son is treated this way he seems to think this is normal now and has started treating his friends in his class this way and i have upset mothers thinking i am doing nothing about it. I feel powerless as the problem is not within my home but my partners sisters and i am all over the place atm as we rely a lot on his sister for childcare as she does me. We are going to speak to my partners mum about it tonight as ive been told shes the best person to speak to the sister without her taking any offence. Wth?!
I feel stressed out, drained, upset and i am also nearly 6months pregnant and dont need this. My partner agrees with me which is relieving but i just dont know wether im over reacting and making a big deal out of something that isnt... any advice appreciatedx