What to do with 5 week old who won't stop crying

[Counter27]

Just as the title suggests really... I've been tearing my hair out today after a particularly unsettled night (a good night for DD would be sleeping 2-3 hours at a time, bad is 45 mins). She has been inconsolable all day, falling asleep and seeming okay briefly after feeding but then crying soon after.

She isn't hungry, doesn't have a temperature, doesn't stop crying when she is held/rocked/sang to/dummy/etc.

Even taking out in the pram didn't work. Car seat seems to work but only temporarily and not every time.

Doctor suspected she may have reflux so she has been on some gaviscon lately.

Help really I am so tearful and just don't feel like I can handle it. DH is home and I am in bed having a break but not feeling much better for it.

[Tripleespressoandchocolate]

I'm sorry to hear you're struggling, it can be such a tough time.

Have you tried a wrap sling?

[Counter27]

Yes, she only seems to like the sling for a short time if she isn't already upset. If I try and put her in when she is worked up she just screams harder 😕

[Tripleespressoandchocolate]

Hi, sorry for delayed response. As the sling worked for us, I don't want to make any other suggestions without having had first hand experience.

I promise that everything is transient. It may not feel like that at the time, but you'll get through this phase I promise. Hugs

[Counter27]

Thanks. We've had a couple of much better days since I posted this. We saw the doctor and it turns out she has really severe reflux and think that's what has been upsetting her so much. On ranitidine now and seems to be going okay so far 🤞🏼

[FirstTimeMummaB]

Hi OP
Are you breast or bottle feeding? And does DD have any other symptoms?
I don’t want to put ideas into your head but this sounds just like my DS in his early weeks. He would scream all day and night, drawing his knees up, very unsettled and just looked like he was in pain. HV and Dr’s kept persisting he just had ‘severe reflux’ and we tried multiple meds which seemed to help a little temporarily but eventually symptoms would come back again. It actually turned out to be a dairy allergy. As soon as I cut things out from my diet (he was ebf) he was like a new baby within a week x

[Counter27]

Good timing @FirstTimeMummaB - it has all kicked off again tonight... I am now wondering about just cutting dairy out from now (due to see HV on wednesday) and discussing it then to give it a shot. I breastfeed 7/8 feeds a day and DD has one feed with formula. Not sure if I could end up doing any harm coming off dairy without any definitive answer though. It's so hard when nothing consoles them and you don't know what to do / what's wrong.

[FirstTimeMummaB]

@Counter27 You won’t do any harm whatsoever cutting out dairy (I presume you’re breastfeeding?). My DS is actually intolerant to dairy, soya, oats, egg and barley. He’s 7 months now, still breastfeeding and he’s thriving despite me cutting all of these things out! 😊 As long as you generally eat well, take a good pregnancy/breastfeeding multivitamin and a calcium&vitamin D supplement you’re fine.
Definitely speak to your HV and GP as I’m not medically trained, just speaking from my own experience! My DS had other symptoms alongside being unsettled, such as a rash all over his face and neck, very mucousy dirty nappies (sometimes up to 20 a day).
Unfortunately my GP and HV were not supportive in the slightest. I kept being told I was just sensitive and made out to be a neurotic first time mum who couldn’t handle a crying baby, because ‘that’s what babies do!’ 😬
I went dairy free off my own back in the end, which my HV was aware of just in case DS’ weight dipped or anything.
DH and I actually ended up paying to see a private paediatrician to have our suspicions confirmed. That Dr told me to bare in mind that reflux is not a condition in its own right, there will be something CAUSING it. Depending on the severity of it I suppose points to whether there’s something more serious going on, hence why reflux meds did nothing for my DS as I was still eating dairy etc.
Sorry for the essay, I just remember how you’re feeling all too well and if someone has told me sooner about cmpa (cows milk protein allergy) it could have saved us so much heartache in DS’ newborn weeks!

[FirstTimeMummaB]

Also should have added, you will have to get a specially prescribed dairy free/amino acid formula if you intend to continue combi feeding as I don’t think you can buy these over the counter. If you can they’re incredibly expensive (some mums I know have had to pay around £20 a tin!) Or maybe drop the formula feed for now whilst trialling dairy free and reintroduce later on x

[Counter27]

Thank you that is all really helpful! The only thing is she seems to have 2-3 good days and then she will have 5+ hours of this crying for what seems like no reason. I am breastfeeding yes. So that made me doubt whether it is an allergy to the protein as I would expect it to be daily if that's the case?

[FirstTimeMummaB]

@Counter not necessarily. For us it seemed to be a build up in our systems over time that caused the problem but then over exposure made it worse. So my DS was unsettled all the time. But the odd night would randomly sleep for 3 hours and we’d think ‘oh ok, definitely an improvement..’ then some (most) nights we’d be up and down every 20-45minutes and he would not be put down. I figure this must have been some days I was eating more things that he’d react to than others, as I mentioned previously he does have multiple intolerances we’re working through now. DS also had the odd top up bottle of formula in the early days which, looking back, made the problem worse too.
You’ll need to be really strict with yourself for 4-6 weeks to get a clear picture to whether it makes a difference or not. My advice would be to completely eliminate all dairy products (including anything that has milk or milk related ingredients contained) from your diet. Soya proteins are also very similar so can cause the same sort of reaction, so most give this up at the same time too then reintroduce them one at a time after 4-6 weeks to see if it causes a reaction.
It’s a ball ache at first but SO worth it if it means you have a happier baby for it.
I hope all that waffling on makes sense!! X