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10 y/o daughter

(6 Posts)
Worrieddad247 Mon 28-May-18 13:06:34

Ok at my wits end here..PLEASE HELP!!!
My daughter has always been headstrong but it's getting beyond a joke now...its more than just getting her own way...it's manipulating!! MY wife son 14 and I are having terrible rows over the most trivial things...an example would be let's go for a walk...daughters response...where are we going...show me on the map...I don't want to go there.. it's boring...I don't know what to wear..I have no shoes...I don't want to wear sun cream...and on and on.
We have been down this road a hundred times...it will always end it shouting and screaming..with my girl losing privileges like laptop or tablet..(which we stick to) and being sent to her room.
NOW...If you sit down and ask her later when everyone is calm why she reacts like this..the simple answer is...I DONT KNOW! She really has no idea why! It can be simple think like can you turn the telly off now..however her answer will be NO..or GO AWAY...it is almost as if she is possessed sometimes....do I need to get her to see someone or is it just a "phase" That has latest 2 years.

OP’s posts: |
Witchend Mon 28-May-18 14:24:34

Well to be honest that is my reaction if someone suggests a "nice walk".

What I do with mine is say that I want them to come because I like them being there. ANd I go to things of theirs that they want me there and I don't enjoy, so we both compromise.

Worrieddad247 Mon 28-May-18 23:40:41

That was just an example...it's pretty.much if we ask anything!

OP’s posts: |
corythatwas Tue 29-May-18 00:48:04

Could it be that you overreact and it blows up really quickly. I remember my son being very much like this for a while around the age of 10, but I don't remember it causing the kind of upheavals that you mention and I don't think anyone thought of him as manipulative, just bloody annoying. We got round it by making it into a bit of a joke.

In retrospect I think it was a combination of hormones and him being quite unhappy: there were problems to do with illness in the family and he was also beginning to realise that he is the odd one out in terms of personality and interests and talents, that the rest of us have a lot more in common. He got over the moany stage and turned into a very pleasant teenager, albeit one that keeps himself to himself.

Anyway, Witchend's approach seems good to me: brisk insistence on compromise.

Benandhollysmum Tue 29-May-18 23:34:26

Could be the start of puberty, girls become complete divas ans everythings a fucking drama...usually be able to tell the start of it she begins to smell of body odour and you have to remind her to wash and wear deodorant
As well as the over reaction of things..

Goldmandra Wed 30-May-18 21:11:32

Is it better if you plan things well in advance and she has lots of warning?

Not saying your DD has autism but my DD2 who has AS would respond in exactly that way at the same age and would have had no idea why. It was because she was expecting the day to happen one way and we were suddenly making changes she couldn't cope with. It was the sudden change, not the activity that she couldn't cope with.

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