My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Behaviour/development

Ex husband worries

0 replies

Aoagq · 21/05/2018 13:37

Hi all. Hoping any of you can give me some advice.
My three children live with their dad in Kent, my eldest and youngest sons (17 and 13) are autistic and it was best they stayed in their routines etc as he was always a ‘stay at home dad’.
For the past year and half things have been found fine since I moved to Essex, my ex husband moved his gf of three months into the house shortly after I moved here (with in a week) but apart from her shouting all the times the boys were happy (my middle one in 15).
Around Christmas time their relationship has broken down and she has moved out but my ex husbands behaviour towards her and how much he ‘cares’ for our children is prettt non-exsistent.

I should probably say we split up due to his new lifestyle of going out all the time and having a new best friend who was a woman whom I know he had ‘relations’ with, I asked him to calm it down and he chose her over me, when he got with his gf he told her his best mate was a girl and failed to mention about the sexual side. But then as I say their relationship broke down because of said best friend and he has basically destroyed another relationship due to this woman.
He spends literally every waking moment he can with her (neither work, he ‘can’t find a job due to having to be home for our youngest’...he is never AT home anymore! He’s always at the pub or round her house with her etc.
The boys are always almost home on their own. They are of an age they don’t need a baby sitter but still having their dad around and not having his head stuck in his phone while he is there would be nice.
I chatted to my eldest over the weekend, he is at college and works part time so doesn’t spend a great deal of time at home but when he does instead of his Dad being there on his own the ex gf is there with him and as my son said the other day ‘he hears things’ and he is majorly confused by it all, he was telling me he sits up waiting for him to come home and have up at 3am on Saturday morning and he rolled home at 7am from drinking with his friend at the lock in at the pub, my son tells me that his dad tells him everything from when they go out from drinking to well, the stuff he is putting up his nose. What he does when the boys aren’t there I don’t care but when they are it’s not acceptable.

He isn’t the type of person that will listen to me and I don’t want to drop my son in it either (I have tried saying things before and he said the boys were lying but as he told me at the weekend and showed me pictures they arent lying)

My middle son has also began being naughty, the school rang the other day to say he has sex in the loo at school and my eldest asked his friends when he was at work about his brother they all said it was unlike him, my eldest said ‘I think he is copying dad’ And he said ‘I think she is a bad influence on him’ meaning the best friend.

I know what I need to do but until I have hard evidence of it I don’t know where I stand, I don’t want to say something and my boys life is harder.

The only thing I am hoping for is his local pub where all this happens is closing next month so I’m hoping it will all calm down.

Thanks for reading x

OP posts:
Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.