Feeling house bound with 12 week old

[GoblinGuru]

Hello ladies!

I'm currently a FTM to a beautiful LG who's 12 weeks nearly. I'm having a hard time with doing anything with her as she won't adapt well or for long.

She will only nap on me (not a problem) but wants to sleep or nurse all day. She is only really awake for about 3hrs throughout the whole day where she is not doing these things. I try to do things with her from going for a walk to baby massage and she just has none of it. she just screams till she can nurse back to sleep or be held ( sometimes she'll let me rock her to sleep). She hates the buggy, and won't go to sleep in it. Won't sit in her bouncer or play mat or anywhere but my arms.

It's basically just me and her as we have no family nearby and dad is never home due to work and studying (work 5 days a week, studies in library evenings and weekends). So there's no one to help or even speak to.

I've tried to get out with her a few times but she just screams and I end up turning back. I have to carry her everywhere with me and still then shes normally not very cooperative (wants to be held on shoulder and moving about). I dread doctors appointments or anything really because she just screams when awake.

Any words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated. I love her to bits but I just don't know what I'm doing wrong.

[BrumKP]

Hi @GoblinGuru - congratulations first of all ! Secondly, you are doing nothing wrong. Babies love to be held, and your LO clearly loves her mama lots!

My DD was like this (she has silent reflux so putting her down was just a big no at first). The only thing that worked for me was a sling - I had a fabric one until she was 8lbs and then a Baby Bjorn. She loved both and it meant that I got to use two hands, walk, drink and eat again! Rest assured that this is just a phase and she will grow out of it. I went to countless classes and stood at the back rocking and shushing, and all of a sudden it changed! Hang in there and enjoy it while it lasts! Xx

[BrumKP]

Also - do you have a children's centre close to you? They might do clinics or classes that are free, and you definitely won't be the only one with a crying baby. And in my experience, the volunteers love any excuse to hold a baby! Xx

[GoblinGuru]

Thank you so much for the reassurance! I’m definately thinking of gettinggetting a structured carrier because I find I can’t get her into a stretchy one quick enough. I think I’m just going to give up on the buggy 😂.

There isn’t a specific centre, but there is local classes and things. I’ve bedn too scared to go to them properly as of yet as she tends to just scream. I’ll just have to embrace it for now I guess 😬

[BrumKP]

I struggled with the fabric one too but the structured one is worth it's weight in gold!

Baby sensory really worked for my LO - I was so nervous about taking her but she slept through the first two classes and as she got older she participated more and more. She's 19 weeks now and I've just signed up to another term!

You'll be fine, you're doing a great job! Xx

[Cottipus]

You’re not doing anything wrong- after the first few weeks DD would scream if I put her in the pram bassinet. She hated not being able to see what was going on.

I also had to put her over my shoulder when we were out and about and even then I had to stand up/walk her around or she’d get bored. I used to look enviously at the other mums with their babies napping in the pram with a dummy in! (Won’t take a dummy either, that’s another story).

Structured carriers are great as when she got bigger she wriggled out of the stretchy sling. I use a Connecta at the moment which is very simple and a lovely design although we’ll probably need to look at a forward facing one soon as she’s getting bored.

She will tolerate being in the car seat in the travel system - if you have one it’s worth a try.

It does get better- she’s 20 weeks now and will be occupied sitting on my lap for good while. Still have our moments but she can stay occupied for a lot longer now with a toy.

[GoblinGuru]

Thank you for all your replies. My LG used to take a dummy by won’t anymore 😫. I may try a structured carrier and baby sensory. I guess I’ve just got to find her niche and to preserve. I enjoy the cuddles anyways 😊